Quotes of the Month
"You
either get busy living or get busy dying."
"Don't
go to the hardware store for milk."
"Be
the change you want to see in the world."
"There's
only love and fear and only love is real; all else is an
illusion."
"Life
is not a dress rehearsal. This is it!"
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Stats of the Month
52%
of workers report that co-workers are the most stressful part of
their jobs; 42% reported work tasks as most stressful. (2011 Princess
Cruises Relaxation Report)
61%
of Human Resource Managers say that annual performance reviews are an
accurate appraisal of employees' work; 39% say they're not. (2011
Globeforce Society for Human Resource Mgmt. survey of 700 human
resource managers)
The
wealthiest 1 percent of persons in the U.S. earn at least $380,000.
The majority of this group are doctors. However, the wealthiest 1
percent of persons in the world earn at least $34,000. (2012, USA
Today).
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Person
of the Month
Former
US Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona who recently retired her
congressional seat to focus on her recovery from a gun shot wound to
the head just over a year ago. Not only is she a symbol of courage,
hope and miracles in respect to her physical recovery but she
embodies grace, humor, and peace.
Representative
Giffords' few appearances in Congress brought bi-partisanship to a
halt and reminded us--even if briefly--of the humanity we need to
reclaim and exhibit toward each other if we ever hope to move
ourselves and our country forward.
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Book
of the Month
Lifted by
Wendy Tolver, Simon & Schuster, 2011
A
well-written 300-plus page book about a teen girl shoplifter, Lifted
is a great read for teens as well as adults.
From
the back cover: "Poppy Browne had never stolen anything in her
life before moving to Pleasant Acres and meeting Mary Jane and
Whitney. But when she walks out of the mall with her two new friends
and her first pair of stolen jeans, she's hooked.
Before
long, Poppy is lifting whenever she gets the urge--it's never about
the merchandise, it's always about the thrill. But when her secret
gets out, the girls in Poppy's clique turn on one another. As she
watches her life collapse around her, Poppy must decide where her
loyalties lie... and how far she'll go to protect herself."
A
haunting morality tale that will leave you questioning just what it
means to be 'good.'
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Film
of the Month
"I
Am" (2011) written and directed by Tom Shadyac. See www.iamthedoc.com.
Shot
in the style of "The Secret," "What The Bleep Do We
Know," and "One," this creative, provocative, and
illuminating film tells the story of its director--Tom Shadyac--a
former successful Hollywood film director who seemed to have it all. Then,
several years ago, he had a terrible biking accident which left him
with recurring headaches and depression.
This
event and his condition led him to question the essence of his being
and his purpose and happiness in life. Along the way, he interviews a
number of sages from across the globe on the nature of life and
challenges us to examine our own as well.
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See
our updated websites at: www.theshulmancenter.com and
affiliated sites.
Mr.
Shulman's four books are now available as e-books
through www.amazon.com:
Something
for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery
Biting
The Hand That Feeds: The Employee Theft Epidemic
Bought
Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive $hopping
Cluttered
Lives, Empty Souls: Stealing, Spending & Hoarding
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On The Move and In The News!
February
2012--Mr. Shulman is quoted in an article on employee
theft in the Memphis Business Journal and other related online
business journals.
February
2012--Mr.
Shulman will be a guest expert on compulsive shopping/spending on
ABC's "Nightline."
February
2012--Mr. Shulman will be a guest expert on shoplifting
addiction on Anderson Cooper's weekly daytime talk show.
March
2012--Mr. Shulman will have an article on compulsive
theft, spending and hoarding in Addiction Professional Magazine.
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Be a True
Valentine to Others and Ourselves!
The
first major holiday of the new year is upon us: Valentines Day.
Many are still recovering from broken New Years resolutions and are
just confronting the sticker shock from the past holiday season.
According to the Retail and Marketing Association (RAMA), nearly
60% of Americans celebrated Valentines Day in some way, spending
about $10 billion dollars--making it one of the biggest spending
holidays of the year.
While
I'll probably buy my wife a card, some flowers and take her out for
lunch or dinner (probably lunch!), I want to express my love for
her in ways besides gifts and spending, too. Gary Chapman's
wonderful book "The Five Love Languages" describes five
primary ways we express and receive love: gifts, acts of service,
kind words/appreciation, physical touch, and quality time.
Using
Chapman's model, think about some simple, inexpensive creative
way(s) to show your love. Gifts are nice, but both men and women
report what's really important to feeling love are the other four
"gifts."
The
interesting thing about these "five love languages" is
that we often find ourselves expressing love in a way we think our
partners want to receive it but, more often, we tend to express it
in a way we'd like to receive it. Some who love to receive gifts
might assume their partner is really into receiving gifts too, but
he or she might really desire quality time or a massage.
So,
stop for a moment or two and consider both how you want to express
love and also how your partner best receives love. Hopefully, your
partner will do the same.
For
those who don't have a significant other (as well as for some who
do) Valentines Day--and all that goes along with it--can provoke
feelings of dread. As I often say: holidays can be the best
and worst of times. So, whether you're looking forward to
Valentines Day or not, there are many ways to show our love
(romantic or not) for others without feeling stressed, obligated or
inauthentic.
Another thing many of us never consider is that
Valentines Day is yet another opportunity for us to be our own
Valentine, too! In what way(s) might we treat or nurture ourselves
in a healthy way? Many of us always put ourselves last! Ideally, we
shouldn't need a holiday to remind us to be loving to others or
ourselves but it is what it is. So, what is one "gift"
you can give yourself using the "five love languages"
model? Remember: I'm my only life partner--from the moment I'm born
to the day I die.
One "gift" we can give ourselves (or
another) is the gift of recovery. Consider getting counseling,
attending a self-help group, and/or reading books on
addiction/recovery.
If
you're a shoplifter or shoplifting addict, what better gift could
you give yourself than the help you really need. No amount of
stolen stuff will fill your void or make life right. If money is an
issue for your, think of how much it will cost when you're arrested
(again?) and have to pay for a lawyer, costs, fines and therapy
then!
If
you're stealing from your work/employer, it may seem easy to
justify but you can't feel good about yourself and the double-life
you're leading. And, as with shoplifting, there's no such thing as
something for nothing: your theft will be discovered and you'll be
in a world of financial and emotional pain.
If
you're an overshopper/overspender or a hoarder, no amount of stuff
will make you happy of at peace. If you're going to spend money,
why not really invest in yourself? There has to be another way. Take
that first step... the rest you don't need to do on your own.
Loving
and being loved are no hallmark simple endeavors. But this
Valentines Day may be your best yet if you can find a way to get
real about what love really is and what it really isn't.
Walk
in peace.
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The Shulman
Center 2012 Events Calendar
March 5, 2012--Mr. Shulman to
present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at the Annual
Detroit Area Conference on Problem Gambling. See www.nso-mi.org
April 14, 2012--Mr. Shulman to co-organize/co-present
at 2nd metro-Detroit forum: "Living Recovery in an Addictive
World."
April 19, 2012--Mr. Shulman to
present on helping counseling clients with legal issues at the
Annual Michigan Social Workers Conference.
June 2012 (prospective)--Mr.
Shulman may present on compulsive shoplifting/stealing at the
Annual Pretrial Intervention Professionals Conference in New
Orleans, LA.
August 2012 (prospective)--Mr.
Shulman may present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at
the Annual Addictions Studies Institute in Columbus, OH.
August 2012 (prospective)--Mr.
Shulman may present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at
the Annual Cape Cod Institute summer conference in Cape Cod, MA.
September 2012 (prospective)--Mr.
Shulman may present on compulsive theft, spending and hoarding at
the National Conference on Addictive Disorders in Orlando, FL.
September 2012--C.A.S.A.
(Cleptomaniacs And Shoplifters Anonymous) metro-Detroit celebrates
20-year anniversary.
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Ongoing ...
The Baton Rouge, Louisiana court system has a
court-ordered, facilitated educational program for retail fraud
offenders. The program is based on material from Mr. Shulman's
book Something for Nothing:
Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery.
Mr. Shulman created a 1-hour employee theft online
course with 360 Training. Learn why people steal from
their jobs, how to deter it, prevent it, and what to do when
confronted with it. Enroll at: http://theshulmancenter.360training.com
Mr. Shulman created an online continuing education
course on compulsive shopping and spending called Bought Out and $pent!
based on his book and Power Point presentation. The course, CEs
offered, through The
American Psychotherapy Association. at:http://www.americanpsychotherapy.com
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START YOUR NEW YEAR with MONEY LIFE-COACHING!
Tom Lietaert of Sacred Odyssey and the Intimacy with Money programs
offers individual money coaching as well as various group workshops
on money. Check out Tom's websites at www.sacredodyssey.com / www.intimacywithmoney.com
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Mr. Shulman's books
available for purchase now!
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Contact The Shulman Center:
Terrence Daryl Shulman, JD, LMSW, ACSW,
CAADC, CPC
Founder/Director,
The Shulman Center for
Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding
E-mail: terrenceshulman@theshulmancenter.com
Call (248)
358-8508 for free
consultation!
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