Mr. Shulman recently completed a
14-week teleconference training with Dr. April
Benson, of New York City, based on her pioneering
program for compulsive shoppers and spenders
"Stopping Overshopping."
________________________________________________________________________
Is Our Independence
Costing Us Our
Freedom?
By
Terrence Daryl
Shulman
The 4th of July
Holiday is upon
us. A time for reflection on independence and
freedom. For many or most, this opportunity will
be marked by bar-b-ques, a day off work, time with
family and friends, drinking, eating, shopping.
While I’m likely to engage in more of the same,
I’m also trying to take a moment to consider the
deeper meaning of both independence and freedom.
One of the first thoughts that came to my mind is
how independence can be both a gift and a trap. I
thought about how the “go it on our own” mentality
of politics often leads to isolation and chaos
rather than co-operation, unity and order. I’ve
thought about my own patterns of fierce
independence which have kept me stubborn and stuck
at times, afraid to ask for help as if to become
“dependent,” weak, or needy. I’m reminded that
there’s a middle ground between independent and
dependent: it’s called “inter-dependence.” In
personal relationships as in relationships between
nations, perhaps it’s the most healthy and
realistic way to operate. “No man is an island.”
And no nation either. We are all
inter-connected.
Now, nobody likes being a slave or
under the thumb of anyone. One of the worst
feelings in the world is feeling trapped or
unfree—which prompts me to consider the deeper
meaning of “freedom.” Is freedom an external
reality or an internal reality? Is freedom,
ultimately, a state of mind? I’m thinking of
Nelson Mandela who was imprisoned for 25
years—much of it in solitary confinement. Yet, it
seems that he was able to keep his dignity and his
mind “free” to a large extent. I’m thinking of
Professor Stephen Hawking whose body is confined
to a wheelchair with advanced ALS. While he
recently experienced the euphoria of
weightlessness in a zero-gravity capsule, he never
struck me as anyone stuck in the victim mode of
his own dire physical condition. On the contrary,
he used and expanded his own mind for the benefit
of others.
“Freedom’s just another word for
‘nothing left to lose.’” This memorable line from
Janis Joplin’s song may mean many things to many
people and may be more of a Zen Koan in the end.
Does the line imply that we must lose everything
in order to be free? Does it call upon us to take
risks even if we don’t get what we want, we
experience freedom itself in the taking of the
risk? Does it mean I can just do whatever I want?
What’s your definition of
freedom?
I know I still fall too easily into
the mindset of thinking: “I’ll be free when…” I’ll
be free when I have a million dollars. I’ll be
free when my wife stops “nagging me.” I’ll be free
when I don’t have to work anymore. I’ll be free
when my back doesn’t hurt and stiffen. I’ll be
free when I move to California. I’ll
be free when I let go of my anger. I’ll be free
when I cure my addictions once and for all. I’ll
be free when I move to a deserted island. I’ll be
free when I don’t have any bills or
responsibilities. I’ll be free when I stop chasing
freedom…
I’m going to do my best to be happy
that I live in a country that, despite its room
for improvement, allows me largely the freedom and
independence to shape my own life. I am the
ultimate creator of my own freedom. I am also
responsible for my own thinking and my own life.
If I don’t like it, I have the freedom to change
it. If I need help doing so, I have the freedom to
seek out help. I also have the freedom to do
nothing. As for independence, while I often
fantasize about needing nobody and nobody needing
me, that is not real freedom or real joy when I
think about it. Relationships enrich my life.
Responsibilities enrich my life. Sure, I don’t
want to overdo it, but I do see the value in
inter-dependence as the goal and the
destination.
So, while I’m enjoying my
4th of July vacation on the lake with
my wife and family and friends, I’m hoping to do
my best to maintain the awareness of deeper,
profound freedom and independence that transcends
the national and encompasses the universal.
Ultimately, I get to say if I’m free or not.
Perhaps, that’s the greatest form of self-autonomy
and independence.
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The Secret’s Not A Secret Anymore
By Terry Shulman May 2007 (poem and
song)
There’s a mystery that’s baffled
us
For
several thousand
years
We’ve
read parchment text, fought bloody
wars
Shed
oceans of our tears
We’ve
paid therapists, read self-help
books
Done
workshops in the nude
But if
you still seek
happiness
You’re
in luck, here’s your last
clue:
It’s
so simple it’s been hidden
Right
before our very eyes
It’s
been known by those among
us
Who
are the wisest of the
wise
All
you need to do is ask and
You
shall soon receive
Just
send in $40
And
then watch the DVD
CHORUS:
The
Secret’s not a secret
anymore
The
Secret’s not a secret
anymore
So
when you’re feelin’ down and
out
Just
open your mind’s door
The
Secret’s not a secret
anymore
Now
Abraham (and Issac) had been
Teaching it for
long
Jesus
and the Buddha
suffered
For us
to be strong
Stan
Dale and his angels
Have
known it all along
But
until you’ve been on
Oprah
Everything you’ve known is
wrong
CHORUS:
(Musical interlude)
Now
Rhonda Byrne’s a genius
It’s
hard to disagree
But
who’d have thought that our new
Prophet
Produced Reality
TV?
It’s
the message not the
messenger
I
guess we must all choose to
see
And if
your wishes don’t come
true
Wait
for “The Secret” Parts 2 and
3!
CHORUS: Repeat
twice
