The "Winter Blahs"
"Seasonal affective disorder" may play a role. As the weather becomes more frigid and the days of sun get shorter, many feel less energy and compound this by becoming less active, eating more, staying indoors more. This becomes a vicious cycle.

If this applies to you, GET ACTIVE! GET OUTSIDE or at least do "(sun)light therapy." Make a physical regimen plan NOW and stick to it. Join with others for support. If possible, take a sauna or a hot tub to warm up. In some more extreme cases, consult a physician or nutritionist/herbalist for help.

Family: Love 'Em or Hate 'Em
Many of us have conflicted or tenuous relationships with certain family members or other close relationships we may feel "forced" to interact with during the season. We may still harbor painful and uncomfortable memories from holidays past. Some may feel the grief and empty absence of family members no longer around. And, of course, for many single people or people without any close relationships, the loneliness can be overwhelming.

Remember: You have choices about how you want your holidays to go! You have choices about who you want to be around, where you want to be around them, for how long, and under what circumstances—if any! While there may certainly be "pressure" or "guilt" to gather, I encourage people to create the holiday of their dreams with the people you consider "family of choice." Don't be a victim here! If there are toxic people you know you need to avoid—give yourself the gift of avoiding them.

Pressures to Spend, Give, Have
For many, especially during this time of national economic challenge, the holidays seem less about reflection, spending time with loved ones, and appreciating their comforting and inspiring themes than a frenzied "consumer fest." It's off to the Mall to spend, spend, spend—often when we can least afford it! Dealing with traffic, the crowds, credit card debt! Not a pretty picture. Many feel trapped and obligated to give—especially to children or others who may have come to "expect it." Some, on the other hand, feel the past or future disappointment of not receiving what they hope to receive—either materially or relationally. Is it any wonder why shoplifting and employee theft rise dramatically during this time?

NOTE: The documentary film "What Would Jesus Buy?" opens nationally on November 9^th

SLOW DOWN! Stay focused on the true spirit of the holidays—fun, wonder, relationships. If you are worried about overshopping or overspending, create a budget and stick to it. Give alternative gifts which keep you away from the frenzy of the stores. Make gifts, give gift certificates or gift cards, order gifts online if you can do that safely, do favors for people such as cleaning, cooking, fixing things, offering a massage, taking them to a movie, etc. BE CREATIVE! If you're worried people will be disappointed, explain to them your circumstances and motivations for departing from the usual. If you want to receive gifts, treat yourself first and also speak up and ask for what you want but be prepared to hear no or to graciously receive an alternative gift.

Arguments and Addictions!
It's not too early to create a proactive action plan for heading off potential arguments and addictions which go hand in hand. When we argue we want to use, zone out, escape—which only creates more arguments as we disconnect and engage in addictive behaviors which, in turn, lead to more arguments.

What is your Achilles' heel during the holiday season? Food? Alcohol? Drugs? Shopping? Shoplifting? TV? If you aren't already in a recovery program, get into one NOW! See a therapist, join a support group, start reading recovery/spiritual literature, attend a place of worship, meditate, do yoga, exercise, embark upon fulfilling projects or hobbies. If nothing changes, nothing changes. How are you going to do your holidays different this year?

Written Exercises:
I encourage you to write out an action plan for not just surviving but thriving during the holidays. Here are some tips that will all but guarantee some level of success!

People to Avoid                                              People I Wish to Be Around

1.                                                                     1.

2.                                                                     2.

3.                                                                     3.

4.                                                                     4.

5.                                                                     5.

My Holiday Budget (November -- January)

1. Food - $
2. Gifts - $
3. Decorations - $
4. Miscellaneous - $
5. Other - $

Gifts I'd Like To Give That Feel Right        Gifts I'd Like to Receive/Give to Myself

1.                                                                     1.

2.                                                                     2.

3.                                                                     3.

4.                                                                     4.

5.                                                                     5.

My Achilles' Heel(s)                                     Ways to Cope with My Achilles' Heel(s)

1.                                                                     1.

2.                                                                     2.

3.                                                                     3.

4.                                                                     4.

5.                                                                     5.

What The Holidays Mean to Me:

Halloween: ___________________________________________________________

Thanksgiving: __________________________________________________________

Hannukah: ____________________________________________________________

Christmas: ____________________________________________________________

New Years: ___________________________________________________________

Good luck and don't just survive the holidays, thrive during the holidays!