Celebrating 20 years
Quotes of the Month:
asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty, my only response is that
I'm grateful I have a cup." --Sam
are only two ways to live your life: one, as if nothing is a miracle
or, two, as if everything is a miracle." --Albert
is when memory is stored in the heart rather than the mind."--Lionel
thank you is more than good manners, it's good spiritually."
best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it."--
Stats of the Month:
-The average American shopper will
spend $749.51 on holiday gifts in 2012, up slightly from 2011.--National
the four weeks leading up to Christmas, an estimated $1.84 billion in
merchandise will be shoplifted this year, according to The Global
Retail Theft Barometer, a survey of retailers worldwide. That's up
about 6 percent from $1.7 billion during the same period last year.
-115 million: Number of
occupied housing units across the U.S. for trick-or-treaters to stop. (2011)
estimated number of potential trick-or-treaters ages 5-14 across the
The American Voter
Day is upon us! Each one of us is entrusted with using our heads and
hearts to do our part in voting to help shape the future direction of
our country. Voting is both a privilege and a duty.
How To Be Good:
Randy Cohen (2012)
Cohen, the creator and editor of the New York Times Sunday magazine
column "The Ethicist," offers a book-full of essays and
published columns on various ethical dilemmas.
Cohen offers guidance on every moral issue under the sun-alternating
between the profound and the mundane. He waxes philosophic on money,
work, family, among others. His trademark humor and acumen for
distilling issues with clarity and practicality, I highly recommend
this book. It's fun as well as very thought-provoking.
documentary Miss Representation by Jennifer Siebel Newsom
premiered at the 2011 Sundance Film Festival, and aired on OWN:
Oprah Winfrey Network.
film explores how the media's mis-representations of women have led to
the underrepresentation of women in positions of power and
See Film and Film clip
our updated website www.theshulmancenter.com
Mr. Shulman's e-books
Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and
Biting The Hand That Feeds: The Employee Theft
Bought Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive
Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls: Stealing,
Spending & Hoarding
SHULMAN CENTER THERAPIST TRAINING PROGRAM!
you're a therapist and wish to be trained &
certified in the assessment/treatment of compulsive
theft, spending and/or hoarding, CONTACT THE SHULMAN CENTER NOW! See
what some therapists who recently completed the training say:
greatly benefitted from taking Mr. Shulman's phone training program
for therapists like me who wish to learn more about shoplifting
addiction and how to effectively treat clients with this
Soland, LPC, Psychiatric Associates (Springfield, IL)
The three of us really enjoyed and learned a lot from Terry
Shulman's intensive therapist phone training program for shoplifting
addiction. We look forward to applying our new knowledge and
sensitivity in our prison ministry program.
Anne Eyster, Facilitator
-Steve Balarin, Facilitator
-Elly Ferrell, Facilitator
-Bexar County Prison Ministrie (San Antonio, Texas)
SHULMAN CENTER'S PRE-HOLIDAY RECOVERY TUNEUPS!
you or someone you know is struggling with compulsive shoplifting,
stealing, shopping or hoarding, the holidays see a marked uptick in
these behaviors. Avoid a holiday crisis. Call now to schedule a
1-hour holiday recovery tune-up! It may be the best gift you can
give yourself or your loved one. 248-358-8508
Shulman Center on the move and in the news...
Shulman was quoted in The Buffalo News on compulsive
shopping/spending. See Buffalo News
Shulman will be presenting a 2-hour seminar on hoarding disorder in
Farmington Hills, Michigan.
Shulman will be presenting on hoarding disorder and its costs at the
Association of Financial Counselors, Planners and Educators in St.
Louis, MO. See: www.afcpe.org
Shulman will be talking about and presenting his book
"Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls" at the Metro-Detroit Jewish
Shulman will be talking about and presenting his book
"Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls" at The Lido Gallery open
mic night in Birmingham, Michigan from 7-9pm.
Shulman will have an article on compulsive theft, spending &
hoarding in Counselor Magazine. See: www.counselormagazine.com
Shulman was quoted in an online article on shopping addiction in
Baltimore's Style Magazine
Be The Best or Worst of Times
I published this column in my November 2011 eNewsletter but felt it
was worth repeating!):
here we are again: at the start of the holiday season: Halloween,
Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Years. Each of us, especially
those in recovery, has a choice how we want our holidays to go.
Research shows that addictions and relapses tend to increase during
these times. We don't have to fall off the deep end and go through
the ritual of making New Years resolutions on January 1st.
been my experience working with compulsive stealing, spending and
hoarding that the holidays are a particularly stressful and tempting
time. Don't wait until you're in the midst of the holiday craze to
have an action plan: if you're not preparing for recovery, you're
preparing to relapse.
a few tips to keep you centered and grounded and safe...
If you choose to shop, shop early, before the crowds hit.
Go through your belongings and see if there are any gifts you can
re-gift or recycle.
Set a budget that works for how much you can spend comfortably on
yourself and others.
Remember the spirit of the holidays--it's not about the things, it's
about the joy and shared experience with key family and
If you have few family or friends and you're worried about
loneliness, be proactive and find local support group meetings,
other open gatherings/events, and make a plan to attend some: you
might just make a new friend or two.
Stop and remember what has happened and how you felt when you were
in your addiction during holidays past. Did you shoplift or steal
from work and feel guilty? Were you arrested or fired from a job for
stealing? Did you break your budget and regret it later, starting
the new year stressed out? Did you feel ashamed to have friends or
family over because your home was a disaster zone? KISS--Keep It
If you have kids and you're feeling pressured to buy for them, stop
and remember what you're teaching them. Remember when you were a kid,
it's most likely your best memories are about the activities and the
time together you spent with loved ones, not the stuff you got! Be
creative and get kids engaged in activities they'll cherish forever.
Take photos. Have fun!
If you feel lack due to finances or other issues in your life,
consider volunteering (and bring the kids, too, if you have them) at
a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, or donating Toys for Tots (again,
recycle gifts if need be). Bring a smile--safely and responsibly--to
the lives of those less fortunate.
Don't abuse alcohol, drugs or food: they're a waste of time, energy
and money. Have a plan to get some moderated exercise, get some
outdoor fresh air, eat healthy, get enough sleep, and find some
If getting together with family/friends brings up difficult
emotions, choose either not to attend or minimize the time spent
with them and "book-end" your visits with calls to support
people or meetings before, during, and after your visit.
MAKE THE HOLIDAY SEASON A SUCCESS!
REMEMBER YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF YOUR EXPERIENCE!
New Series on Shopping Addiction Premiers!
weekly series debuted earlier this month on the Oxygen Network late
Monday evenings called "My Shopping Addiction." It's a
cross between A&E's "Intervention" and the various
hoarding shows on cable TV. I've watched a couple or episodes and
don't think it's the most sensitive, in-depth treatment of the
serious problem of shopping addiction but it might be of some value
to some. There are two therapists who interact with the diverse
collection of "shopaholics." The therapy, I feel, is a bit
condescending and confrontational and the editing of the show is too
fast-paced and stylistically sensational. However, so far I'm
encouraged to see the show highlight a range of overshoppers (men,
women, young, old, different cultural backgrounds) as well as different
forms of overshopping--from malls to resale shops, etc. Check it out
and you be the judge! See: the website or YouTube for clips:http://my-shopping-addiction.oxygen.com/
Detroit Tigers--Is Second-Best Good Enough?
Detroit Tigers baseball team, my home team which I've followed
intensely these past eight months, made it to the World Series but
were swept 4 games to none by the San Francisco Giants. Like any
good sports fan, I went into a period of mourning. I actually cried
myself to sleep after game 4, mumbling in my pillow "it's not
fair, it's not fair." I would have at least liked a more
competitive series. And it certainly would have been good for the
Detroit area which has seen some very hard financial times over the
last four years. We don't always get what we want. There was no
fairy-tale ending for me, my team, or my city.
while the Tigers were expected to make the World Series at the start
of the year, they struggled with chemistry, some injuries, and some
underperforming by key players. By mid-season, it was a miracle that
they made the playoffs, a miracle that they won the decisive game 5
against Oakland at Oakland, and a miracle they swept the vaunted New
York Yankees for the American League pennant. Besides, it was also
an honor to watch third baseman Miguel Cabrera win the fist Triple
Crown (led league in home runs, rbi's, and batting average) since
the late '60s.(Though he may be more remembered for having a sub-par
World Series, hitting only one home run, and standing like a statue
on a called 3rd strike to give the Giants their crown.
it's best to not get greedy and not feel too bad that we didn't win
it all. We live in a world where second-best often isn't good
enough, where runners-up are usually just considered
"losers." I am reminded in recovery how much my
perfectionism and my difficulty making mistakes, feeling like a
failure, and always pushing myself contributed to my addictions. So,
as much as I'd still liked to have seen the Tigers as World Champs,
I'm accepting that they still had a great year and, hopefully,
they'll be competitive again next year. Today, at least, second-best
is nothing to hang one's head in shame about.
Center 2012 Events Calendar
17--Mr. Shulman will be presenting a 2-hour seminar on
hoarding disorder in Royal Oak, Michigan.
1--Mr. Shulman will be presenting a 2-hour seminar on
hoarding disorder in Farmington Hills, Michigan.
14-16--Mr. Shulman will be presenting on hoarding disorder
and its costs at the Association of Financial Counselors,
Professionals and Educators in St. Louis, MO.
18--Mr. Shulman will be talking about and presenting his
book in the Metro-Detroit Jewish Book Fair.
29--Mr. Shulman will be talking about and presenting his
book "Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls" at The Lido Gallery
open mic night in Birmingham, Michigan from 7-9pm.
Shulman will have an article on compulsive theft, spending &
hoarding in Counselor Magazine.
2013--Mr. Shulman will have an article about shoplifting addiction
in the Winter 2013 issue of Jack Hayes International Loss Prevention
January 24, 2013--Mr. Shulman will be presenting
on hoarding disorder at the Birmingham Community House from 7-9pm.
Shulman has penned the "Foreword" for upcoming book Shoplifters:
Are They Out of Control? by California
forensic psychologist John C. Brady.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana court system has a court-ordered, facilitated
educational program for retail fraud offenders. The program is
based on material from Mr. Shulman's book Something
for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery.
Shulman created a 1-hour employee theft online course with 360
Training. Learn why
people steal from their jobs, how to deter it, prevent it, and what
to do when confronted with it. Enroll at: http://theshulmancenter.360training.com
Shulman created an online continuing education course on
compulsive shopping and spending called Bought Out and $pent!
based on his book and Power Point presentation. The course, CEs
offered, through The
American Psychotherapy Association. at:http://www.americanpsychotherapy.com
YOUR NEW YEAR with MONEY LIFE-COACHING!
Tom Lietaert of Sacred Odyssey and the
Intimacy with Money programs offers individual money coaching
as well as various group workshops on money. Check out Tom's
two websites at:
CONSULTING AND EDUCATION ON FRAUD
Gary Zeune of Columbus, Ohio has
been a friend and colleague of mine for nearly two years. He has
been a consultant and teacher on fraud discovery and prevention for
nearly 30 years. He is interviewed in my book Cluttered
Lives, Empty Souls: Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding. I
recently saw Gary in action recently when he presented an all-day on
fraud to metro-Detroit accountants.
Eve Cantor, a 30-something professional organizer in the New York
City area offers in-person and Skype coaching for women in need of
assistance with their wardrobe and clutter. See Eve's wonderful
website and video at www.shopyourcloset.com
MONEY SHIFT (Book, Board Game and Seminars)
Palka, CFP, a metro-Detroit area financial planner, and I recently
met. He's worked in finances for over 25 years and has written a
book, developed a board game, and offers seminars on transforming
our thinking about money and wealth. See his website at www.themoneyshift.com
RETURNS Court-orderd Programs for Shoplifting
Richardson, LMSW, of Joplin, Missouri recently contacted me and we
had a long-talk by telephone. Terry worked in the correctional
system before returning to school to obtain his MSW. In 2003 he was
approached and soon founded the first court-ordered program for
theft offenders in Joplin, MO. It seems this small town was
experiencing a steady rise in shoplifting and Terry developed a
program that has made a real dent in shoplifting and has helped
countless shoplifters of all backgrounds. His program is available
for sale. See: www.positivereturnsprogram.com
for purchase now!
Contact The Shulman Center:
Daryl Shulman, JD,
LMSW, ACSW, CAADC, CPC
The Shulman Center for
Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding
358-8508 for a free