| Mr. Shulman recently completed a 14-week teleconference training with Dr. April Benson, of New York City, based on her pioneering program for compulsive shoppers and spenders “Stopping Overshopping.” ________________________________________________________________________ Is Our Independence Costing Us Our Freedom? By Terrence Daryl Shulman The 4th of July Holiday is upon us. A time for reflection on independence and freedom. For many or most, this opportunity will be marked by bar-b-ques, a day off work, time with family and friends, drinking, eating, shopping. While I’m likely to engage in more of the same, I’m also trying to take a moment to consider the deeper meaning of both independence and freedom. One of the first thoughts that came to my mind is how independence can be both a gift and a trap. I thought about how the “go it on our own” mentality of politics often leads to isolation and chaos rather than co-operation, unity and order. I’ve thought about my own patterns of fierce independence which have kept me stubborn and stuck at times, afraid to ask for help as if to become “dependent,” weak, or needy. I’m reminded that there’s a middle ground between independent and dependent: it’s called “inter-dependence.” In personal relationships as in relationships between nations, perhaps it’s the most healthy and realistic way to operate. “No man is an island.” And no nation either. We are all inter-connected. Now, nobody likes being a slave or under the thumb of anyone. One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling trapped or unfree—which prompts me to consider the deeper meaning of “freedom.” Is freedom an external reality or an internal reality? Is freedom, ultimately, a state of mind? I’m thinking of Nelson Mandela who was imprisoned for 25 years—much of it in solitary confinement. Yet, it seems that he was able to keep his dignity and his mind “free” to a large extent. I’m thinking of Professor Stephen Hawking whose body is confined to a wheelchair with advanced ALS. While he recently experienced the euphoria of weightlessness in a zero-gravity capsule, he never struck me as anyone stuck in the victim mode of his own dire physical condition. On the contrary, he used and expanded his own mind for the benefit of others. “Freedom’s just another word for ‘nothing left to lose.’” This memorable line from Janis Joplin’s song may mean many things to many people and may be more of a Zen Koan in the end. Does the line imply that we must lose everything in order to be free? Does it call upon us to take risks even if we don’t get what we want, we experience freedom itself in the taking of the risk? Does it mean I can just do whatever I want? What’s your definition of freedom? I know I still fall too easily into the mindset of thinking: “I’ll be free when…” I’ll be free when I have a million dollars. I’ll be free when my wife stops “nagging me.” I’ll be free when I don’t have to work anymore. I’ll be free when my back doesn’t hurt and stiffen. I’ll be free when I move to California . I’ll be free when I let go of my anger. I’ll be free when I cure my addictions once and for all. I’ll be free when I move to a deserted island. I’ll be free when I don’t have any bills or responsibilities. I’ll be free when I stop chasing freedom… I’m going to do my best to be happy that I live in a country that, despite its room for improvement, allows me largely the freedom and independence to shape my own life. I am the ultimate creator of my own freedom. I am also responsible for my own thinking and my own life. If I don’t like it, I have the freedom to change it. If I need help doing so, I have the freedom to seek out help. I also have the freedom to do nothing. As for independence, while I often fantasize about needing nobody and nobody needing me, that is not real freedom or real joy when I think about it. Relationships enrich my life. Responsibilities enrich my life. Sure, I don’t want to overdo it, but I do see the value in inter-dependence as the goal and the destination. So, while I’m enjoying my 4th of July vacation on the lake with my wife and family and friends, I’m hoping to do my best to maintain the awareness of deeper, profound freedom and independence that transcends the national and encompasses the universal. Ultimately, I get to say if I’m free or not. Perhaps, that’s the greatest form of self-autonomy and independence. ——————————————————————————————– The Secret’s Not A Secret Anymore By Terry Shulman May 2007 (poem and song) There’s a mystery that’s baffled us For several thousand years We’ve read parchment text, fought bloody wars Shed oceans of our tears We’ve paid therapists, read self-help books Done workshops in the nude But if you still seek happiness You’re in luck, here’s your last clue: It’s so simple it’s been hidden Right before our very eyes It’s been known by those among us Who are the wisest of the wise All you need to do is ask and You shall soon receive Just send in $40 And then watch the DVD CHORUS: The Secret’s not a secret anymore The Secret’s not a secret anymore So when you’re feelin’ down and out Just open your mind’s door The Secret’s not a secret anymore Now Abraham (and Issac) had been Teaching it for long Jesus and the Buddha suffered For us to be strong Stan Dale and his angels Have known it all along But until you’ve been on Oprah Everything you’ve known is wrong CHORUS: (Musical interlude) Now Rhonda Byrne’s a genius It’s hard to disagree But who’d have thought that our new Prophet Produced Reality TV? It’s the message not the messenger I guess we must all choose to see And if your wishes don’t come true Wait for “The Secret” Parts 2 and 3! CHORUS: Repeat twice |
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