The Shulman Center on the move and in the news… February 2015–Mr. Shulman will be quoted in an article on compulsive shopping and spending in Time magazine. TBA February 1, 2015–Mr. Shulman has an article on hoarding disorder in the quarterly Recovery Magazine out of Prescott, AZ. See: www.inrecoverymagazine.com February 3, 2015–Mr. Shulman presents on hoarding disorder at Barton Towers Senior Apts. in Royal Oak, MI. 3-4pm. Free. February 3, 2015–Mr. Shulman presents on compulsive hoarding at The Rochester Hills, MI Public Library. 7-8pm. Free. February 17, 2015–Mr. Shulman’s interview about shopping addiction airs on I Heart Radio’s “Purse Strings” Show. TBA See: http://www.iheart.com/show/220-Purse-Strings/ February 27, 2015–Mr. Shulman presents on understanding and treating hoarding disorder from 9am – 3:30pm at Jewish Family Services in West Bloomfield, MI. $90 registration required (6 CEU hrs credit) includes lunch. March 13, 2015–Mr. Shulman presents on understanding and treating men’s issues in therapy from 9am – 3:30pm at Jewish Family Services in West Bloomfield, MI. $90 registration required (6 CEU hrs credit) includes lunch. March 24, 2105–Mr. Shulman will present on understanding and treating hoarding disorder at University of Michigan Health System and Employee Assistance staff from 9am – 11am in Ann Arbor. Closed. April 10, 2015–Mr. Shulman will present on cultivation honesty and integrity in our children and also on men’s issues in therapy at the National Association of Social Workers (Michigan Chapter) Annual Conference in Kalamazoo, MI. April 18, 2015–Mr. Shulman will present on compulsive stealing and spending for the OCD Network at Botsford Hospital in Farmington, MI from 1-3pm. Free (donations accepted). April 29, 2015–Mr. Shulman will present on hoarding disorder at the annual Michigan Conference on Mental Health and the Aging in Lansing, MI. Please Follow us on Twitter @terrenceshulman or @TheShulmanCenter and Facebook at The Shulman Center. NOTE: If you’re a therapist, please consider contacting us to enroll in our brief, affordable local or virtual training to become more proficient at assessing and treating compulsive stealing, spending & hoarding disorders.See Shulman Center Training.
reBLACK HISTORY MONTH IS FOR ALL OF US by Terry Shulman Black History Month, or National African American History Month, is an annual celebration of achievements by black Americans and a time for recognizing the central role of African Americans in U.S. history. The event grew out of “Negro History Week,” the brainchild of noted historian Carter G. Woodson and other prominent African Americans. Since 1976, every U.S. president has officially designated the month of February as Black History Month. Other countries around the world, including Canada and the United Kingdom, also devote a month to celebrating black history. Some people (especially those who aren’t black) may ask: why should I observe, let alone celebrate, black history. I remember as a white Jewish kid growing up in Detroit, I innocently asked that question of a teacher. Frankly, I can’t even remember if she was black or white, but I will never forget her answer: “Because we celebrate white history month throughout the year.” Now, whatever you think of her answer, it has stuck with me and prods me to be curious, sensitive and open to understanding others’ perspectives, especially those of minorities or those with less societal power and who also have experienced a history or oppression, discrimination and negative stereotypes. Black History Month is also a reminder not to take too much for granted. Yes, African-Americans and people of color around the globe have made much progress in the last century. But, if you haven’t noticed, such progress is dependent on vigilance and can easily slip away. We’ve seen an increase in police brutality, erosion of voting rights, and (now being heard by the U.S. Supreme Court) possible erosion of fair housing access to all. The Jews–also a minority with a rough history–continue to remember the Holocaust and various Jewish achievements. And anti-semitism is resurgent across the globe. Women have come a long way but they, generally, still aren’t paid as well as men for the same work and domestic violence and sexual assault toward women (even in the military and in schools) are epidemic! The LGBT cause has certainly evolved rapidly but its by no means a done deal that the Supreme Court will legalize gay marriage as it currently weighs this issue.
Many of my counseling clients have suffered not just familial abuses and traumas but cultural and societal ones as well. Blacks, Jews, women, gays, and others bear the scars of bullying, violence, ridicule, and oppression.But I also counsel men–even white men who feel–sometimes justifiably so–the burdens of masculinity. History must not repeat itself. It’s unclear if we’ll ever live in a truly “color-blind” society. In the meantime, we can embrace our diversity, heritages, and gifts this brings to the world.
VALENTINES DAY & 50 SHADES OF GREY The Tension Between Romance and Control by Terry Shulman Here comes Valentine’s Day–the first hallmark holiday of each year! My wife and I were talking recently about it. I admit, I take note of the holiday each year, recognizing it as an annual prompt to appreciate my partner and to try my best to make her actually feel appreciated–as if I really needed a holiday for that! In a way, it’s almost an excuse not to be quite as mindful daily, weekly, and monthly since Valentines Day (and Sweetest Day, birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas) will come. Oh, and–of course–all these holidays are at least partly designed to stimulate the economy through individual and collective gift buying. I know, I sound pretty jaded and cynical don’t I? Well, before you judge me (or maybe you actually agree?), even my wife (no romance curmudgeon) expressed to me that all these holidays do feel forced and that she has to remind herself that she’s at choice about how or if to even observe them. Easy for her to say! Even with women’s lib and more equality between genders, It’s my observation and experience that men are still the ones in charge of arranging, buying and creating the romance for our female partners (I wonder how LGBT couples decide who takes the lead? or the polyamorous or clandestine bigamists?) I’m just sayin’… And if all this wasn’t pressure enough, “Fifty Shades of Grey” (the much-anticipated movie based on the book phenomenon of the same title) opens on Valentine’s Day, too! Now, I haven’t read the book but I know what it’s about: how a sweet, innocent young woman falls for a handsome, charming and extremely wealthy young man (traditional romance) who also is an BDSM (bondagedomination-sado-masachism) aficionado or, more likely, just a plain bad-boy control freak (also a romance novel staple–the forbidden!). A mild controversy ensued over “Fifty Shades of Grey” when the question arose: how can so-called liberated, sensitive and assumedly polite women go crazy for this stuff? Well, from what I’ve heard (and, perhaps, will soon see in the film), it’s basically porn for women! In other words, it’s fantasy! A common library joke is: “Where is the romance section?”–“It’s in ‘Fiction.'” But I came across a copy when it first came out and gave it to my wife to look at (hint-hint!) but she read the first page or so and threw it back at me–apparently, it doesn’t turn every woman on!
What’s the connection between romance and eroticism. Is it the forbidden? Is it the mystery? Is it the anticipation? Are control freaks sexy? From what I gather (and I don’t think this is just a “woman thing”) after a long hard day of doing what one needs to do to survive, who wouldn’t want someone to take the lead a bit, make all the decisions, and surrender one’s left-brain-rationalanalytic mind? I’m no Christian Grey (though I’ll cop to being a bit of a control freak) but I got tickets for a local February 12th annual “Dirty Show” erotic art exhibit with a special appearance by film director and author John Waters. On February 13th–the day before V-Day- -I’ve made reservations at our local health club to take a partner yoga class (they offer this about twice a year) and that a few of our couples-friends may join us at class and for dinner afterwards. My wife likes surprises but also likes to weigh-in on plans as well. I’ve also arranged a couples meditation float (in separate salt-water sensory deprivation tanks) at a spa down the road (I snagged a Groupon!). It’s funny, in the old days, I would have arranged all this just to get sex! Now, it’s more just to have fun–though I’ll confess that it’s also motivated by fear of disappointing my wife by not making her feel thought of. My wife and I also had tentative plans to go to an annual private Valentines dinner and Ball but one of our single female friends offered to buy us tickets to come with her to see one of her favorite singers. My wife said yes right away. I hesitated because I’m not a big fan of the singer and, frankly, I was aware that a band I really like was playing that night but I knew my wife would have no interest in going. So, with some trepidation, I asked her: would you mind if–after spending some time together during the day, we could each do our own thing in the evening? Fortunately, she said “sure.” I felt relieved and loved. It ain’t “Fifty Shades of Grey.” It may sound like a few shades of beige. Call it marriage or call, call it predictable and nice, call it the ol’ give and take… but it works for me… and us.
J’ACCUSE! ACCUSATIONS ABOUND! Reputations and Relationships at Risk by Terry Shulman Accusing someone of wrongdoing is nothing new. For eons, people have privately and publicly accused others of all kinds of misbehaviors–from lying, cheating, and stealing to rape. molestation, and murder. It just seems to me that it’s happening more and more and, without extremely hard evidence, it seems to come down to one person’s word against another’s… or many, many people’s words vs. another as in the recent Bill Cosby allegations of some 30-40 women who almost uniformly report that they were drugged and taken advantage of sexually. Allegations abounded of cheating by the Super-Bowl-bound New England Patriots for deflating the air pressure in some of the footballs they used to beat the Indianapolis Colts. We may never get a confession (as we did with Lance Armstrong’s eventual admission to doping) or know the truth (like the molestation allegations against film director Woody Allen by his now-grown daughter).
But make no mistake: reputations can and have been ruined. Despite Cosby’s continuing comedy tour (attended by supporters as well as hecklers/protesters), this man may never see a day in court but has already been convicted in the court of public opinion and has lost many life-long fans as well as endorsements and an upcoming new TV series that was in the works. As for AllAmerican quarterback Tom Brady, he may never live down the label of cheater; who knows if he’ll lose endorsements or be adversely affected in the future. Even if he wins the Super Bowl MVP and gets into the Hall of Fame, for many there will always be an asterisk after his name. My point is that I don’t know if Cosby or Brady are guilty of what they’re accused of (granted, the Cosby allegations are much more serious). I get that it’s hard for many to believe their “clean-cut” idols could be capable of doing anything crooked or selfish. I also get that many have become so jaded and used to being let down by their idols that it makes it almost more easy to believe the accusations against them. I’d say that, while none of us can protect ourselves ultimately from someone accusing us of almost anything, we need to be very careful about our behaviors and how our reputations often are our most valuable asset–apparently, easy to tarnish and, equally seemingly, hard to restore. And with the Internet, social media and worldwide whispers zooming around the globe in an instant, accusations and their fallouts can have devastatingly massive and far-reaching impact. Most lies and cheating are eventually proved and then the accused suffers even more for the cover-up and denial. I’m reminded when I was sued about six years ago for alleged trademark and copyright infringement. From my point of view, the lawsuit was frivolous and unjust and, in essence, accused me of being a thief. I was quite worried about my reputation and felt I needed to fight back and defend the suit both on the grounds that it was untrue and unjust as well as our of fear about how my reputation (which I’d worked so long and hard to redeem) might be irreparably hurt. We settled the case after a stressful and expensive year of fighting. While I didn’t get complete satisfaction, I survived. I learned that my reputation is important but I can’t control what people say about me or believe about me, though I have a lot of say-so over behaving in ways that reduce bad press! Recently, a middle-aged woman called me after finding my websites online. She had long had a suspicion that her wealthy brother’s new wife (quite a bit younger) was stealing things from her and other family members–some of these things would turn up just as oddly and in odd places. She discussed the matter with me and felt increasingly stressed about not saying anything and stewing is suspicion. I advised her that if she were to ask her brother or sister-in-law anything about this that she’d better be careful not to directly accuse anyone but, rather, to express her wondering and concern and that her main intent was to figure out the mystery and to have more trusting, open relationships with them. Well, despite her delicate efforts (I took her word for this), her sister-in-law denied any stealing and still felt accused–and hurt–indeed! They are now in damage control. So, be mindful and careful about accusing anyone of something. For those of us who have been accused falsely, we need to proceed with care and caution before we do more harm than good.
Obviously, there are times where it will happen. But be prepared to be gracious whether you are found to be right or wrong or stuck in the middle of mystery.
POSTING PHOTOS OF SHOPLIFTERS: Deterrent or Violation of Rights? by Robin Brown The (Delaware) News Journal, Jan. 30, 2015 (Excerpt).
A potentially controversial approach to reducing shoplifting by posting suspects’ arrest photos has been declared a success in Dover. The four-month pilot project called the “Shoplifter Notification Program,” begun in August 2014, produced a 19-percent drop in such crimes, city police say. “That was huge,” said Cpl. Mark Hoffman, Dover Police Department’s public information officer, who suggested the project after seeing similar efforts on other forces’ webpages. Loss prevention specialist Scott Campbell, who works in a large department store in Dover, said the city police photo posting program “helps in many ways.” First, Campbell said, “it helps us identify shoplifters when they walk in the door. “It’s also helped us identify several shoplifters who have run that we weren’t able to identify,” he said, adding they have been recognized from police photos after arrests at other stores. Police hope “suspects will think twice before stealing merchandise in fear that their name and photo will be shared with the public.” “I’ve seen a lot of new ones that haven’t come back,” he said, adding that merchants still must deal with chronic repeat offenders, typically homeless, who “go to jail and come out and an hour later, they’re back in the store again shoplifting.” The four-month project’s impact also translated into a double-digit impact on the year’s statistics, with a 12 percent drop for 2014 compared to the year before, Hoffman said. While similar efforts by departments elsewhere have seen legal challenges or public outcries, he said, Dover has gotten some grousing but no formal complaints, he said. “There have been a few people that asked, ‘Can I get my picture taken down?’ ” he said, and in one case, a posted photo was blacked out after the person’s criminal record was expunged. The department knew of challenges to such postings elsewhere before starting its own, Hoffman said, so “we got a review by the city solicitor to make sure there were no legal issues or constitutional issues with it.”
Before Dover’s project started, however, ACLU of Delaware Executive Director Kathleen MacRae told The News Journal the concept is irresponsible and a disservice to post photos of people who have not gone through the judicial system, partly because people may be arrested by mistake and charges later dropped. “The underlining principal of our system of justice is that people are innocent until they are found guilty,” she said, calling photo displays based on arrests “a violation of somebody’s civil rights and an extremely inappropriate action to be taken.” Elsewhere in the country, Aurora, Colorado, officials started the practice in 2014, but after complaints switched to posting only photos of convicted shoplifters. Police in the Houston, Texas, suburb of Rosenberg – whose posts inspired Hoffman’s project proposal – have had some complaints over more than two years of posting shoplifting suspects’ mugshots, credited for a 14-percent drop in the crime. In response to complaints, that department added a note to its posts saying they reflect actual arrests, although suspects are “innocent until proven guilty,”a disclaimer built into Dover’s format. See rest of article at: Smile! You’re on Candid Camera.
STORES TURN TO SOCIAL MEDIA TO CATCH CRIMINALS! Culprit Crowdsourcing by Cammie Bellamy Star News Online, January 19, 2015 (Excerpt)
Running a business, Patrizia Schneider doesn’t have time to play detective. So when two shoplifters walked off with merchandise from her store Jan. 6, Schneider turned to her Facebook followers to do some sleuthing. “We get shoplifters all the time, but this is the very first time that we used social media to kind of make a stink out of it,” said Schneider, who owns Planet. Posting surveillance photos on Planet’s page, she asked customers to help identify the thieves. She expected a few likes and a tip or two. What she got was more than 300 shares reaching 39,000 people and a flood of messages from people who knew the pair, more than enough information for her to file a detailed police report. Wilmington (Delaware) police spokeswoman Cathryn Lindsay said officers were taking out a warrant for one of the suspects. Lt. Tom Witkowski of the Wilmington Police Department said social media is becoming a key tool for officers. Kelsey Gibbs, who owns The Wonder Shop, also on Front Street, has also had success asking Facebook followers to identify shoplifters. “We’ve had a handful of incidents over the past few years, and we always post the surveillance footage on Facebook and Instagram,” Gibbs wrote in an email. “One time, our neighbor Edge of Urge recognized the shoplifter a few weeks after the footage was posted and called the shop immediately. I went down there and confronted her, brought her back to the shop, and she paid for the $79 stolen dress. That was probably the easiest resolution for both of us. Most times it’s not that simple and we have to get the police department involved.” Witkowski said while social media sharing can get shop owners helpful information, it needs to be done responsibly. “If someone goes as far as to post an image on social media, we would hope that they have compelling evidence that they are in fact guilty of a crime,” he said. “I wouldn’t discourage anyone. As a business owner they have every right to do it. I would encourage them to involve law enforcement from the beginning.”
See rest of the article at: Asocial Media: Enemies not Friends? Quick hits (interesting recent articles of interest…. Are You Likely to Have an Affair? Risk Factors for Cheating (January 27, 2015 by Elizabeth Bernstein, Wall Street Journal) See: To Cheat or Not To Cheat Why You Should Tell Your Kids How Much Money You Make (January 30, 2015 by Ron Lieber, NY Times) See: Talking to Your Kids About Money.
SPOTLIGHTS: Jack L. Hayes, International, Inc.
Based out of Florida, Jack L. Hayes, International is a loss prevention and corporate consulting group that has been helping clients for over 30 years. Founded by Jack Hayes, who is now semi-retired (and who gave an in-depth interview about theft in my book “Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls”), the company is now headed up by long-time point-person, Mark R. Doyle. Hayes International has clients around the world and is recognized for their Annual Jack Hayes Retail Theft Survey of large corporations. This survey tracks the prevalence and trends of shoplifting and employee theft and is widely cited (including by me). Hayes International also is known for their long-standing quarterly newsletter which has several articles about loss prevention and related issues. I’ve been honored to have had several articles included in their newsletter. In my experience, most people and companies I’ve had contact with in the loss prevention field have been fairly closed-minded or even judgmental toward me and my work–assumedly because I’m a self-admitted recovering shoplifter as well as a therapist who has been helping people understand and stop stealing for about 20 years. To connect with people like Jack Hayes and Mark Doyle who have been curious and supportive of my work is greatly gratifying. We are, after all, on the same page about recognizing theft as a major problem in our culture and devoted to finding ways to curtail it–for the benefit of all. Thanks Jack and Mark! Keep up the great work!
Please see their website at: www.hayesinternational.com.
“In Recovery” Magazine There’s a wonderful quarterly recovery magazine I want to let you know about. It’s called “In Recovery.” Founded 2 years ago by Kim Welsh, a recovering person herself, in Prescott, Arizona–home to many treatment centers and half-way houses, this magazine has something for everyone. I visited Kim in October 2013 and was honored to be invited to write a regular column about process/behavioral addictions–starting Spring 2014. The magazine is available in hard copy as well as online at: www.inrecoverymagazine.com.
3rd Millenium STOPLifting Online Education Course! 3rd Millenium Classrooms out of San Antonio, TX has been offering high-quality online education courses for alcohol, marijuana and shoplifting issues for many years now. I’ve been honored to help them fine-tune and update their shoplifting course which many are court-ordered to complete after an arrest. 3rd Millennium Classroom’s STOPLifting is an online intervention course designed to assist shoplifters in examining and altering their attitudes and behaviors towards shoplifting. The course incorporates evidential examples and related follow-up questions to discover the student’s motives behind shoplifting, reveal possible patterns in his or her behaviors, and identify potential triggers and ways to cope. Through STOPLifting’s unique motivational interviewing style, students are encouraged to evaluate the personal consequences of shoplifting and how they affect the individual, his or her family and those around him or her. See: www.3rdmiclassrooms.com
Castlewood Eating Disorders Treatment Centers I was privileged to tour Castlewood Treatment Center near St. Louis in August 2014 while in town for a conference. Castlewood also has centers in Birmingham, Alabama and in Monterey, California. They have been around for over a decade and have a great reputation and great staff. See: www.castlewoodtc.com
Clutter-Hoarding National Clean-Up Services See: http://www.clutterhoardingcleanup.com/ Honesty is its own reward.–Anonymous Walk in peace.
The Shulman Center 2014 Ongoing Events Calendar Ongoing … The Baton Rouge, Louisiana court system has a court-ordered, facilitated educational program for retail fraud offenders. The program is based on material from Mr. Shulman’s book Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery. Mr. Shulman created a 1-hour employee theft online course with360 Training. Learn why people steal from their jobs, how to deter it, prevent it, and what to do when confronted with it. Enroll at: http://theshulmancenter.360training.com Mr. Shulman created an online continuing education course on compulsive shopping and spending called Bought Out and $pent! based on his book and Power Point presentation. The course, CEs offered, through The American Psychotherapy Association. at: http://www.americanpsychotherapy.com “In Recovery” Magazine There’s a wonderful relatively new quarterly recovery magazine I want to let you know about. It’s called “In Recovery.” Founded 2 years ago by Kim Welsh, a recovering person herself, in Prescott, Arizona–home to many treatment centers and half-way houses, this magazine has something for everyone. I visited Kim in October 2013 and was honored to be invited to write a regular column about process/behavioral addictions–starting Spring 2014.The magazine is available in hard copy as well as online at: www.inrecoverymagazine.com 3rd Millenium STOPLifting Online Education Course! 3rd Millenium Classrooms out of San Antonio, TX has been offering high-quality online education courses for alcohol, marijuana and shoplifting issues for many years now. I’ve been honored to help them fine-tune and update their shoplifting course which many are court-ordered to complete after an arrest.3rd Millenium has partnered with Terrence Shulman and The Shulman Center on this course. See: www.3rdmilclassrooms.com
RESOURCES OF NOTE… THE SHULMAN CENTER THERAPIST TRAINING PROGRAM! If you’re a therapist and wish to be trained & certified in the assessment/treatment of compulsive theft, spending and/or hoarding, CONTACT THE SHULMAN CENTER NOW! See: http://www.theshulmancenter.com/counselor-training.html 3rd MILLENIUM STOPLifing ONLINE EDUCATION COURSE! 3rd Millenium Classrooms out of San Antonio, TX has been offering high-quality online education courses for alcohol, marijuana and shoplifting issues for many years now. I’ve been honored to help them fine-tune and update their shoplifting course which many are court-ordered to complete after an arrest. Please check out their courses on their website at: www.3rdmilclassrooms.com IN RECOVERY MAGAZINE–PRESCOTT, ARIZONA There’s a wonderful relatively new quarterly recovery magazine I want to let you know about. It’s called “In Recovery.” Founded 2 years ago by Kim Welsh, a recovering person herself, in Prescott, Arizona–home to many treatment centers and half-way houses, this magazine has something for everyone. I visited Kim in October 2013 and was honored to be invited to write a regular column about process/behavioral addictions–starting Spring 2014.The magazine is available in hard copy and online at: www.inrecoverymagazine.com
GET A BOOST with MONEY LIFE-COACHING Tom Lietaert of Sacred Odyssey and the Intimacy with Money programs offers individual money coaching as well as various group workshops on money. Check out Tom’s two websites at: www.sacredodyssey.com / www.intimacywithmoney.com CONSULTING AND EDUCATION ON FRAUD Gary Zeune of Columbus, Ohio has been a friend and colleague of mine for nearly two years. He has been a consultant and teacher on fraud discovery and prevention for nearly 30 years. He is interviewed in my book Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls: Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding. I recently saw Gary in action recently when he presented an all-day on fraud to metro-Detroit accountants. See: www.theprosandthecons.com RECOVERING SHOPAHOLIC BLOG AND EDUCATION Debbie Roes is an educator and recovering shopaholic and offers a free insightful blog and e-Newsletter to help you. See: http://www.recoveringshopaholic.com THE FLY LADY ASSISTS WITH CLEANING & DECLUTTERING I recently was told about a website resource that lists strategies for cleaning and de-cluttering and sells various books and products that help with this; so, I’m passing it along… See: www.flylady.net CASTLEWOOD EATING DISORDERS TREATMENT CENTERS I was privileged to tour Castlewood Treatment Center near St. Louis in August 2014 while in town for a conference. Castlewood also has centers in Birmingham, Alabama and in Monterey, California. They have been around for over a decade and have a great reputation and great staff. See: www.castlewoodtc.com
Mr. Shulman’s books available for purchase now! Click here to shop amazon.com Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery (2003) See also: www.somethingfornothingbook.com Biting The Hand That Feeds: The Employee Theft Epidemic… New Perspectives, New Solutions (2005) See also: www.bitingthehandthatfeeds.com
Bought Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive $hopping/$pending (2008) See also: www.boughtoutandspent.com
Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls: Compulsive Stealing, Spending and Hoarding (2011) See also: www.clutteredlives.com
Contact The Shulman Center: Terrence Daryl Shulman, JD, LMSW, ACSW, CAADC, CPC Founder/Director, The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending & Hoarding P.O. Box 250008 Franklin, Michigan 48025 E-mail: terrenceshulman@theshulmancenter.com Call (248) 358-8508 for a free consultation!
Our Web Sites: The Shulman Center Shoplifting Addictions Kleptomaniacs Anonymous Something For Nothing Shopping Addictions Shopaholics Anonymous Bought Out and Spent Employee Theft Solutions Biting the Hand that Feeds Hoarding Therapy Hoarders Anonymous Terrence Shulman