Spring, Easter, Passover:
The Season of Rebirth
by
Terry Shulman
As most of us slough off this long, hard, cold winter and wait in anticipation for the new buds of spring, Passover and Easter remind us of the triumphs of breaking free and being reborn. You don’t have to be religious to embrace these universal themes and journeys.
Passover and Easter usually fall in late March to early April harbingers of spring. Both holidays celebrate the movement from sorrow to joy, darkness to light, death to rebirth. For Passover, it’s the remembrance of the ancient Hebrews enslavement in Egypt and their eventual (and miraculous) exodus across the Red Sea into the promised land. With Easter, its the remembrance of Christ’s crucifixion and his eventual (and miraculous) resurrection 3 days later.
I was brought up Jewish and, while I don’t consider myself very religious, I have fond memories of celebrating Passover and continue to do so. Out of all the Jewish holidays, Passover has always seemed to me the most interesting with its theme of freedom, its numerous Seder table rituals, the food and wine, and the fact that it’s one of the more family-oriented holidays, often celebrated at one’s home.
I grew up in Detroit in the ’60s and 70’s (Detroit is commemorating the 50th Anniversary of the 1967 July Riots). I remember being curious about Easter which most of my neighbors and friends celebrated. I often partook of painting (and hiding) eggs and was fascinated with the chocolate bunnies! I didn’t really understand the religious significance of the holiday back then. But over the last 18 years since I’ve been in an interfaith relationship, I’ve observed and celebrated Easter-mostly, like Passover, for its rituals, fine food, and gathering of family.
This year, my wife and I are celebrating the first night of Passover with my 85year old uncle and his family at a local synagogue where they are holding a community Seder. We’ve been before and it’s a good time. The second night, my wife and I will be attending a Seder at our friends’ house with a dozen others. We went last year and it was open, laid back, and we went around the table sharing how the story of Passover and how it applies to our current lives. For several years until recently, my wife and I hosted a Seder at our home for neighbors and friends, both Jewish and not Jewish. And, this Easter Sunday, we’re hosting my wife’s family and a couple of friends.
Sometimes I think, cynically, that holidays are just a prompt to get us to buy stuff and eat a lot; other times, I think it’s just an excuse (usually a wonderful one) to gather and bond with family. I’m not convinced about the accuracy and truth of most holiday stories, but, as I’ve written before, I do my best to appreciate their metaphoric value and to see if I can find meaning in relation to my current life. I encourage you to do so as well.
When I think about the shift from winter to spring, I think of rebirth of life-flowers, trees, and of increased light and joy. I recall another tough-weathered season that toughened my soul but wore out its welcome. I also look forward to my own personal, professional, and spiritual growth and to shed off some of the old and obsolete patterns that no longer serve me.
This is a great time to ask ourselves the following questions:
What did I learn during my winter slumber?
What have I been enslaved to and how am I finding new freedom from this?
How have I recently died (symbolically) and who has this process given rebirth to?
When is it time to take a stand and when is it time to let go and surrender? When is it time to uproot and make an exodus and when is it time to allow ourselves to be nailed to the cross in the name of something bigger than ourselves? Standing up for ourselves, for a cause, and to or for others can be hard. And we may suffer for it and die in some sense to be reborn. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Jesus and Moses certainly went through their trials and tribulations but they have endured as symbols of strength and transformation for millions.
Many of us feel as if we’ve wandered “40 years” between enslavement and freedom, have felt crucified and resurrected and those budding flowers of spring both delicate and strong beyond measure, we face the cycle of the seasons within and without. But we can endure, we can grow, we can move toward freedom.
So, what has died (or is dying) in you in order to be reborn? What is emerging?
During my winter slumber, I continued the process of reclaiming my truest sources of strength and abundance which does not lie within certain people but, rather, more deeply within myself and the universe-at-large. I’ve continued to see more clearly-painfully some-time-how I still have patterns of deep fear around failure and around not having enough money to survive. I also continue to see more clearly how I have tended to live out my early family role of the strong one, the self-sufficient one, the one who never gets angry. Is it any wonder I shoplifted on and off for ten years from age 1525?
I just celebrated 27 years of recovery last month. I can see how far I’ve come not only in my recovery but in my life. I feel blessed to have had so many opportunities in my recovery and in my work to meet and help others and to be a voice for hope and recovery. I continue to experience periodic doubts and insecurities, frustration and impatience around finances and where my path may lead. But, I hope, I can learn to speak my truth more, take myself and life more lightly, trust I will be provided for, and balance work and play. In other words, I hope the Terry I am continues to become more himself.
We may look at the world around us and see deep darkness: endless war, environmental decay, political polarization, and the lingering legacy of discrimination and prejudice in many forms. I try to remember the symbolism of the Hebrews “breakthrough” and subsequent 40 years of wandering in the desert before finding higher ground. I try to remember the persecution of Jesus and his suffering on the cross but try not to dwell on the crucifixion but, rather, on the resurrection. May we all acknowledge our individual and collective suffering but also claim our victory over it. May we appreciate the beautiful rituals of Passover and Easter and the food and family and also appreciate the opportunity to start again, to renew, to be reborn, to find freedom and believe in miracles, in the impossible, once again.
MY DOG BAM BAM IS MY TEACHER AND MY HERO
by
Terry Shulman
My 13year old Shihtzu, Bam Bam, recently had surgery to remove both of his eyeballs. It’s a procedure called enucleation. You can look it up and even watch this type of surgery on YouTube. (I did just that the night before his surgery). My wife and I are childfree (not childless) and we often call Bam Bam our fourlegged baby. So, naturally, we both were nervous the day of his surgery but, fortunately, it went very well. Bam Bam’s back to his old playful and colorful self. The fact that he’s blindperhaps even blinder than blind doesn’t seem to be affecting him at all, except for a little more hesitation jumping on and off couches and beds!
We’ve had Bam Bam for over 3 years. He was born blind in his right eye. He was born in Texas, one of a full litter of Shihtzu pups. Story has it that an older couple from my area of Michigan were traveling in the lone star state when they stopped for gas. The wife was never an animal or pet lover but she caught a glimpse of the litter of pups in the flatbed of a pickup truck fueling up along side of her. She peeked over the lip and locked eyes (or eye) with a feisty black and white pup with a cloudy right eye. Something opened in her heart that had never opened before. The truck and pup owner noticed her connection with the one pooch in the pack and said that he and the others were for sale. Within moments, she’d convinced herself and her husband that they needed to have this dog. And, as they say, the rest was history.
“Bambino” (Italian for “little child”) had about ten good years with his new family. The couple had three grown daughters and “Bam Bam” (his nickname) seemed to fill the empty nest. His “mamma” spoiled him rotten. She cooked his meals special and took up painting pictures of her little canineking.
But, as things inevitably change, the couple got older and fell ill and soon passed one after the other. Bam Bam was distributed among the daughters and other family members over a year or so. He wound up with Lori, a kindhearted daughter in her late 50s who lived in a trailer park in the roughntumble city of Pontiac. She was unemployed, struggled with mental illness and addiction, and had been reliant upon public and social services to survive. Enter my middlebrother, Jordy, who had just become a “peer support specialist” in Pontiac. As a former consumer of such services himself, he’d been hired and train to assist clients just like Lorihe’d coach her, provide transportation, and help her learn to help herself.
I got a phone call late afternoon Wednesday January 8, 2014 as a snowstorm started making its way in. Jordy was on the line asking me if I wanted to rescue a 10year old 3/4 blind Shihtzu (by then, Bam Bam’s left eye had a major cataract). It turned out Lori was in danger of being evicted for having a dog in her trailer home. No Pets Allowed! Jordy texted me a photo of Bam Bam looking up at him with two red, infected eyes, matted fur, and a look of desperation that simply conveyed: help me.
I checked in with my wife Tina about what to do. We both had mixed feelings about helping. “Tell Jordy we’ll take the dog for one week but he’d better find him a home!” she barked. I ventured out at dusk as rushhour traffic was winding down. I got lost and then stuck in the neighborhood street (which hadn’t been plowed) near the trailer park. A tall, lanky man in dark clothes emerged out of nowhere and helped push my car out of the rut and then disappeared into the blizzard as fast as he’d appeared. I made it to the trailer, met my brother, and Bam Bam scurried right up to me and pawed at my shins to pick him up. I knelt down and did so. Lori gave me a bag with his blanket, a gray skullandcrossbones dog sweater, some toys (“his babies” as she called them), and some dog treats. And then I left with dog in tow.
When I got home, Tina wouldn’t come downstairs. She didn’t want to get attached. Finally, though, she did. And we both knew pretty quickly that Bam Bam was a divine gift. “Who rescued who?”is a great bumper sticker I’d seen once or twice. Tina and I would joke that if God wanted us to have a dog or a baby, that it would have to virtually fall into our laps or be dropped off at our doorstep. We’d dogsat and even “coparented” several of our friends Shihtzus over the years. But they’d all gone to doggie heaven and we were tornjonesin’ for some occasional puppylove but not quite ready to take on a “fourlegged baby” of our own.
Bam Bam is very special to us. He’s a true trooper and a good therapy dog to our clients who come over for massages from my wife and/or psychotherapy from me. He brings us great joy and, as evidenced by his wagging tail, the feeling is mutual. I don’t know about other languages, but is it any wonder thatin English at least, “dog” and “god” are so similar?
TRAIN OF LIFE
By
Kathleen Botka
At birth we boarded the train and met our parents and we believe they will always travel on our side.
However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone.
As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life.
Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum.
Others will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize they vacated their seats.
This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.
Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.
The mystery to everyone is: we do not know at which station we ourselves will step down.
So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.
It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.
I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life.
Reap success and give lots of love.
More importantly, thank God for the journey.
Lastly, I thank you for being one of the passengers on my train.
(By the way, I am not planning to get off the train anytime soon but if I do, just remember I am glad you were part of my journey.)
The End?
COMING AT CONFLICT WITH AN OPEN HEART
by
Madisyn Taylor
Conflict should always be met with open ears and an open heart.
Conflict is an unavoidable part of our lives because our beliefs and modes of being often contrast powerfully with those of our loved ones, acquaintances, and associates. Yet for all the grief disagreements can cause, we can learn much from them. The manner in which we handle ourselves when confronted with anger or argument demonstrates our overall level of patience and the quality of our energetic states. To resolve conflict, no matter how exasperating the disagreement at hand, we should approach our adversary with an open heart laden with compassion. Judgments and blame must be cast aside and replaced with mutual respect. Conflict is frequently motivated by unspoken needs that are masked by confrontational attitudes or aggressive behavior. When we come at conflict with love and acceptance in our hearts, we empower ourselves to discover a means to attaining collective resolution.
The key to finding the wisdom concealed in conflict is to ask yourself why you clash with a particular person or situation. Your inner self or the universe may be trying to point you to a specific life lesson, so try to keep your ears and eyes open. Once you have explored the internal and external roots of your disagreement, make a conscious effort to release any anger or resentment you feel. As you do so, the energy between you and your adversary with change perceptibly, even if they are still operating from a more limited energy state.
Consider that each of you likely has compelling reasons for thinking and feeling as you do, and accept that you have no power to change your adversary’s mind. This can help you approach your disagreement rationally, with a steady voice and a willingness to compromise.
If you listen thoughtfully and with an empathetic ear during conflict, you can transform clashes into opportunities to compromise. Examine your thoughts and feelings carefully. You may discover stubbornness within yourself that is causing resistance or that you are unwittingly feeding yourself negative messages about your adversary. As your part in disagreements becomes gradually more clear, each new conflict becomes another chance to further hone your empathy, compassion, and tolerance.