Compulsive Theft Spending & Hoarding Newsletter December 2016

Well, The U.S. Presidential Election is Over…
by
Terry Shulman

Whether you’re elated, demoralized, or utterly indifferent about the recent election of President­Elect Donald Trump, one thing is for sure…. we Americans (and perhaps those outside our borders) are in for a different and unpredictable ride. What’s also clear is that the United States is as divided and polarized as ever. Dr. John Gray should write a sequal entitled something like “Democrats Are from Jupiter, Republicans Are from Saturn”­­as we seem as far apart from understanding and respecting each other as we’ve ever been. While many may be understandably jaded and skeptical, I would encourage all to root for our President and our Congress to use their power mindfully and maturely. I am rooting for this. I hope you are, too.

Please Consider Making A Year­End Tax Deductible Contribution to C.A.S.A., LLC
by
Terry Shulman

MAKE A TAX­DEDUCTIBLE DONATION TO C.A.S.A., LLC We can only keep what we give away. Recovery slogan Dear Friends, Looking to make a meaningful tax­deductible gift? Please consider writing a check to C.A.S.A., LLC (Cleptomaniacs And Shoplifters Anonymous).
Since starting the first nationwide C.A.S.A. support group in metro­Detroit in 1992, we have seen this group expand both in metro­Detroit as well as across the U.S. We also have online and phone support groups, too!

Nearly 10% of Americans shoplift, approximately 75% of Americans engage in employee theft, and many more engage in other forms of addictive­compulsive stealing. People need various resources to confront and deal with their problems with stealing.
In 2009, I registered a non­profit wing­­C.A.S.A., LLC­­of my company The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding. If you are interesting in donating any amount of money, we will provide a receipt that can be used on your tax return. Donations to C.A.S.A., LLC help me better serve various individuals in the following ways:

1. Mailing of information, meeting lists, and my books (notably: “Something for Nothing: Shoplifting Addiction and Recovery” and “Biting The Hand That Feeds: The Employee Theft Epidemic”) to indigent persons and/or those currently incarcerated.
2. Making phone calls and visits to jails, prisons, or mental health institutions to educate about addictivecompulsive stealing and treatment/recovery options.
3. Assisting individuals nationwide in starting C.A.S.A. support groups.
4. Offering reduced­fee or free counseling services to those who cannot afford it.
5. Offering court­evaluations for those who cannot afford it.
6. Offering free public talks on addictive­compulsive stealing and treatment/recovery options.
7. Offsetting fees paid to our website designer to update various C.A.S.A. support group listings and other info online.

We encourage you to donate to this cause, especially whether my work, my books, or any C.A.S.A. support group has helped you in any way. Pay it forward and help someone else. We can only keep what we give away. Any donations may be made through PayPal at: http://www.theshulmancenter.com/online­store.htm

You may also mail with a check made payable to: “Terrence Shulman and C.A.S.A., LLC”
MAIL to PO Box 250008 Franklin, Michigan 48025 U.S.A.
We will promptly mail you a receipt.
Thank you for your consideration!
Happy Holidays!
Sincerely,
Terrence Shulman, The Shulman Center and C.A.S.A., LLC

Library Programs Aim to Shed Light on Hoarding Disorder
by Terry Oparka
C and G News (November 8, 2016)

TROY ­ Terry Shulman ­ attorney, author, licensed social worker, life coach and therapist ­ learned about hoarding disorder when he noticed a change in a relative’s behavior. Shulman said his relative changed from a “neatnik” to someone who saved packing materials and boxes from his son’s toys.
“It was hard to find a place to sit in his home, due to the clutter,” he said.
Shulman will talk about the differences between clutter, chronic disorganization and hoarding disorder 7­8:30 p.m. Nov. 28 at the Troy Public Library, where he will also show a 20­minute video titled “Stuffed.”
Cassandra Suh, adult reference librarian, said Shulman’s program came highly recommended from other libraries across the state.
“I think this may be a problem that more people have than they realize,” she said. “We like to offer programs that can help people.”
Shulman, 50, has authored four addiction­recovery books, including “Cluttered Lives, Empty Souls:
Compulsive Stealing, Spending and Hoarding.”
He and his wife, Tina, operate the Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding.
Shulman said he was a compulsive shoplifter from age 15­25 and has been in recovery since 1990.
He said that hoarding can lead to divorce, eviction, blight and injuries.
“Relationship to stuff is a fascinating topic,” he said. “I want to demystify the notion of hoarding. It has a
stigma. It’s an embarrassing topic.”

Shulman said hoarding has recently been recognized as a mental illness that has “several levels.”
“The hallmark in the extreme is being unable to let go of almost anything, even a scrap piece of paper,” he said.
Hoarding doesn’t always take place in the home, Shulman said. “It can be part of the house or a storage unit.”
Shulman said types of hoarding include active accumulation or buying of items and collectibles and things at garage sales, flea markets and thrift stores; not discarding day­to­day items like clothing, papers, newspapers, magazines, books, bills and packaging material; accumulation of food, animals, and storage units; and
acquiring other people’s stuff and taking free stuff by the side of the road.
“Just because people have a lot of stuff doesn’t mean they are a hoarder,” he said. “You have to look at the psychology. Most people are feeling empty inside … or replacing what they didn’t get in their childhood or now.
Or if you are in a violent situation, you turn to things to soothe you.”
Shulman said hoarders may feel that without their things, “they are nothing. It’s a more pervasive problem than we think. It’s like depression in that yelling at the person doesn’t help.”
He said he will talk about the importance of showing empathy by acknowledging hoarders’ emotions and not invalidating their feelings by belittling, diminishing, rejecting, judging or ignoring their feelings.
Typical hoarders have limited awareness that they have a problem, he said. Hoarding, most of the time, is a reaction to a loss, a trauma or life­changing event, Shulman said.
He explained that misconceptions about hoarders are that they lack willpower or ethics, that they are lazy, that their home or person is always dirty, that they are unintelligent or uneducated, that they are financially disadvantaged, and that they have no pride or shame in themselves or the condition of their home.
“We’re up against a tough type of disorder,” he said. “It often manifests itself later in life.”

Black Friday Frenzy Gets an Early Start!
Excerpt by Ian Grosnau
Delaware State News (November 23, 2016)

Shopaholism
Although the default Black Friday fear is laying hands on the last discounted TV in stock at the same time as another shopper or being trampled in a mad rush for a special edition toy that every child wants, the shopping season may bring with it a more subtle ill. According to Terrence Shulman of the Detroit, Mich. Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding, the stretch of time between Thanksgiving and Christmas is a volatile time for people with compulsive shopping tendencies.
“It’s safe to say that the holidays are hard for a lot of people who are prone to addiction,” Mr. Shulman said.
“Drinking goes up, shopping goes up, shoplifting goes up, gambling actually goes up a lot, over­eating obviously goes up. I’m no holiday downer, but we all need to recognize that the holidays can be the best of times for some people and the worst of times for others.”
Mr. Shulman, who’s been a licensed addiction therapist for 20 years, is the founder and director of one of the few centers devoted specifically to compulsive theft, spending and hoarding. He regularly counsels addicts nationwide.
“Arguments about money and spending are some of the biggest reasons why couples and families fight,” he said. “Oftentimes when one of these big sales comes up, one partner may be like ‘woo­hoo shopping!’ and the other may say, ‘oh no, here we go again.”
Shopping addiction, or oniomania (which translated from the Greek basically means ‘for sale insanity’), affects about 10 percent of Americans at some point in their lives, said Mr. Shulman. The shopping season constitutes as a “binge time” for many of these sufferers.
“Many people can start off the new year with a ton of debt, sort of like a debt hangover from the holidays,” he said. “Yes, some of these sales are really nice, but you can get most of them throughout the year with a few exceptions. Part of it becomes the ritual of shopping. I get a lot of calls, particularly after the holidays from people who really fell off the wagon and are looking for help in the new year.”

He also notes that the behavior shoppers model is often observed by their children, a prospect that’s worth considering during the Black Friday rush.
“I’m not a scrooge, but we need to be careful about what we’re modeling for our children,” he said. “What’s the true meaning of the holidays? Is it all about consuming and shopping for good deals? A lot of the time that’s the message the kids are getting.”
For people with compulsive shopping tendencies, Mr. Shulman offers the following tips to get through the shopping season debt free: Talk honestly with a loved one or family member about the compulsive feelings, participate in alternative activities that aren’t focused around shopping, invite a responsible friend capable of reigning you in to shop with you, create a strict shopping budget or leave the credit card at home and restrict yourself to only a budgeted amount of cash you bring with.
“Instead of just buying stuff, maybe you can treat yourself to a service like a manicure/pedicure or a massage, or take the family to a movie and a nice dinner,” he said. “Before buying something, ask yourself these questions: Can I really afford this? Do I really need this? What happens if I wait? Do I have the room for it? Can I find a way to celebrate myself and my loved ones in a more healthy, conscious way?”

To learn more about shopping addiction or to consult with Mr. Shulman visit www.shopaholicsanonymous.org