TIME STANDS STILL IN THE TIME OF COVID-19
More Random Thoughts on These Trying Times
(Part 5/Month 5)
by Terrence Shulman
Another month (#5) in the history books. July is gone and August arrives.
The U.S. is fast-approaching 5 million confirmed Covid cases and we’ve passed the 150,000 deaths mark.
Portland, Oregon is burning (figuratively and literally) and several other major cities are in various forms of turmoil.
The U.S. Congressional and Presidential Election is November 3rd–just over 3 months away.
Schools are supposed to resume–in some form or another–over the next month.
I still haven’t been able to visit my 81-year mother whose been in lockdown the last 4 months in a nearby senior living facility.
And yet, time seems to stand still…
For many, it actually may feel more like time is moving backwards. Things are stalled, in reverse: relationships, finances, careers, health, civil rights, hope.
Something’s gotta give. This isn’t just a U.S. issue but a global issue: painful but necessary reminder of how interconnected we all are.
Charles Darwin is looking down and wondering: Are we evolving or devolving? Is this the ultimate “survival of the fittest/smartest” test for the human species?
Our routines have been disrupted beyond measure and, yet, routine is what we both crave and rebel against.
Our politics seem broken. The Covid crisis has further exposed our inability (or unwillingness) to come together to effectively address the virus and so much more.
Democracy is on the brink. I can’t stop watching “Hamilton” on Disney+ before my 1-month subscription expires tomorrow. I’m debating whether to watch “Brave New World” the new NBC Peacock steaming series based on Aldous Huxley’s 1932 prophetic sci-fi novel… but I know how it ends. Maybe I’ll just finish watching the Netflix “Indian Matchmaker” series with my wife.
How do we individually and collectively hold on, stay safe ourselves, and help our neighbors?
How do we maintain hope and optimism when things seem to be getting worse, not better.
My wife and I commented yesterday how grateful we are for our calm and equanimous 16-year old blind dog. “We need you more than ever Bam Bam to keep us sane!”
I’ve started appreciating The Serenity Prayer on a deeper level: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
What can I change?
I’m working on staying safe and hopeful even if I can’t guarantee that will last.
I’m staying strong in my recovery–I don’t need more problems and drama.
I’m voting and helping to get out the vote over the next few months.
I’m keeping as much of a healthy routine as possible while also enjoying the occasional diversion and variety of life.
I’m enjoying the return of baseball and basketball on TV.
I’m going regularly to the outdoor pool at my health club next door which just opened three weeks ago. I’m breathing and letting go and praying something positive will come out of these dark and challenging times.
I still have future goals, plans, and dreams. But right now, I just want to get through another day. I don’t know about you but, even after five months of this, it all still feels like some dystopian nightmare. And there’s no going back to normal… we’ll never be the same again and need to forge a different and, hopefully, better life ahead…in this brave new world.
HOW THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC
TWISTS OUR PERCEPTION OF TIME
by Rachel Grumman Bender (Yahoo Life, July 9, 2020)
A new study shows that being in lockdown during the coronavirus pandemic is affecting people’s perception of how slowly-or quickly time is passing by.
The U.K. study, published in PLOS ONE, found that several factors including age affects how people view the passage of time during lockdown. People over the age of 60 reported feeling that time was going by slowly, compared to younger people. Other factors that made time slow down included high levels of stress, feeling unsatisfied with the amount of social interactions and not having as many tasks to do.
On the flip side, people who were busy children found that time was flying by. which likely includes parents who are juggling both their jobs and
“From previous research, we may have expected time to pass slowly during lockdown because lockdown is boring and depressing,” the study’s author, Ruth Ogden, PhD, a senior lecturer in psychology at Liverpool John Moores University in the U.K., tells Yahoo Life. “Boredom is associated with a slowing of time, and people who are depressed often report the days dragging by. We would therefore assume that time would be experienced as universally slow during lockdown. However, my research shows that this isn’t really the case.”
While about 20 percent of people in the study experienced time as normal during lockdown, Ogden found that 40 percent experienced it as slower than normal and 40 percent felt it was faster than usual. “When I looked at what made time pass slowly, I found that being older (above 65) and having low levels of satisfaction with current levels of social interaction and high levels of stress were likely to make someone feel like lockdown was passing slowly. Conversely, being young, busy and socially satisfied made lockdown pass more quickly.”
David Spiegel, MD, a professor of psychiatry and director of the Stanford Center on Stress and Health, tells Yahoo Life that one of the ways we mark the passage of time is through our daily routines, which have changed significantly during lockdown. “You get dressed and go to work and see different people those tend to be temporal markers, many of which we’ve lost,” Spiegel says. “Mood is another factor. If you’re feeling good and enjoying what’s happening, you generally want time to slow down. Conversely, if you’re feeling down and not getting things done or not seeing people you know or like, days can seem very long and tedious. Mood and engagement in what you’re doing are important factors.”
Ogden says that, while a slowing of time is associated with negative mood, “we don’t know whether the slowing of time is a consequence of negative mood or a cause of negative mood.” She adds: “Regardless, we can imagine that because lockdown has been stressful and has impaired people’s mental health, anything which makes this period seem ‘longer’ is perhaps likely to worsen these effects. So we could imagine that experiencing the lockdown as artificially slow or long may worsen feelings of anxiety, depression or loneliness. But we really need more research to tell us this for sure.”
So what can you do if it feels like time is passing by too slowly? “Routines really help,” says Ogden. “One problem with lockdown is that we are sort of lost in time. We have lost all of our daily and weekly temporal markers. So prior to lockdown, our rhythm of life enabled us to know what day it was and also what time of day it was, i.e. ‘It’s Monday because I am at work,’ and ‘It is lunchtime because I am hungry. Now these routines are gone, and there is nothing to help us mark the hours, days and weeks. This contributes to a
slowing of time.” Creating a routine and sticking to it will help to stop these “temporal distortions” from occurring, says Ogden. “And engaging in rewarding social activity and exercise to lift our mood should facilitate time passing more quickly.”
Spiegel agrees, saying: “You need to be more proactive at adhering to a schedule because life itself is not going to do that anymore.”
Along with getting physical exercise, prioritizing sleep, and “disconnecting from the constant barrage of news,” which can negatively impact mood, Spiegel suggests that people find ways to engage in activities that make them feel good. For example, “reviewing memories of relationships that have meant a lot to you and reaching out to people you haven’t been in touch with for a while,” he says. “It means taking charge in a way you don’t have time to normally.”
DEAR INNER SHOPPER…
A Letter To Myself Posted
by Jill Chivers
in
Attitudes and Habits, Shopping, Clothes and Emotions
I’d like to invite you to write a letter to your inner shopper…
You know who I mean that being inside of you who makes all the shopping decisions, who holds certain attitudes about shopping (and its close relations, like money and spending), who experiences certain emotions when shopping (or before shopping, or after shopping).
Your inner shopper is the entity that directs your shopping activities. Yes, you’ve got it now – HER.
It doesn’t have to be a long letter. It might be more of a note, something jotable on the back of an envelope. It might be a love letter, or an apology. It might be a congratulatory missive, or a reflective piece of prose. You might want to write a brief poem (Haiku, anyone?). It might be a reflection on the past, or a hope for the future.
Whatever it is, it should be a connection to your inner shopper. I know it’s easy to read this and have a quiet (or perhaps louder) smirk or snicker at this idea. But I am completely serious. Your inner shopper exists. She (or he) is important. Even if your level of awareness if firmly set to zero, your inner shopper is directing traffic directing your attention, as well as directing your precious time, your money and your emotional and cognitive state.
Isn’t it time you got to know your inner shopper a little better?
My letter to my inner shopper would go something like this:
Dear Suzy (that’s what she’s called, don’t ask me why):
Thank you so much for all you have taught me. Who I am as a person has been informed by you, in so many ways. Just when I thought I had some understanding of the “me that I am”, you would come along and teach me that what I know is just the tip of the iceberg.
You have confused me at times. I haven’t always understood why you wanted certain things, and so bloody badly! Why was it so important to buy those Converse animal print shoes? Or those 3 additional pair of dark denim jeans? Or that suede-like reversible jacket that I wore once and gave away? Nothing seemed to placate you, except the purchasing of those items. But they still didn’t give as much as they took, did they?
I never thought of you as a shopaholic, but I guess Suzy Shopaholic has a certain ring to it. For a while there, I didn’t realise how powerful you were, and how much you directed so much of my thoughts, my feelings and my behaviours. Why did I let you spend so much time in Macy’s on Union Square (was it nearly 6 hours?) when the whole of San Francisco was there to be explored?
You’ve cost me, too. Not just money (oh, lordy me, I so don’t want to add up how much it all comes to. A deposit on a house? A brand new small European car? A first class round the world trip? Monthly massages for 3 years?). I can only assume I had to learn those lessons through you, and beyond an extraction of the lessons learned, there is no mileage to be gained in raking through the ashes of all the $20 bills that have been burned on the altar of purchases past.
I’m who I am today in part because of you. In many ways, nobody but you could have brought me to the point I am now. Nobody but you could have lead me to where I am standing right now. Would I have chosen all of this? Possibly not. Does it matter? Definitely not. Here I stand. Thanks, in part, to you.
Love,
Jill
You may be surprised at what you might discover when you do this exercise. Just reading this, you may be nodding your head and running an internal dialogue that says “oh yes, interesting. Can see how valuable that might be”. But that is nothing, absolutely nothing, in comparison to the power of actually doing it.
There is a yawning chasm between cognitively knowing something and actually experiencing it. That chasm can only be breached by taking action. You can’t learn to swim by reading a book, and no description of what a mango tastes like can ever come close to the experience of actually eating one.
Don’t just read this – do it!
You may be amazed, delighted and enlightened by what you discover.