FATHERS… WHY BOTHER?
by
Terrence Shulman
Last month I shared a column (updated from a previous column) about how our mothers impact our lives- emphasizing how our mothers often wound us in various ways, wittingly or unwittingly. As Father’s Day approaches, it seems only fair to examine and discuss how our fathers impact us, too. My father would have turned 83 this June 19th. (My mother passed away at age 82 in December).
Unfortunately, my father died 29 years ago at age 53. I’m about to turn 57 at month’s end and, in the back of my mind, I sometimes wonder (and hope) if I’ll live longer than my Dad. Seven years ago, one of my best buddies, who is just a few months younger than I am, called me to tell me he’d recently suffered a mild heart attack and had to have two stents placed in two of his arteries one which was 80% blocked. “Genetics,” he said as his own father had died of a heart attack many decades ago at age 38!
I’ve talked to many men whose fathers had died and who became increasingly at least mildly anxious about whether they’d outlive their father’s age at death. Now I get it. Since men tend to die on average of 8-10 years earlier than women, chances are good that many of us are spending this Father’s Day without the physical presence of our fathers, and it’s more common for children (including adult children) to be estranged from their fathers than their mothers.
There’s a bad joke that goes: “Why do men die younger than women?… Because they want to.”
The sad truth is that for too many men see and feel life as a burden and have trouble tapping into the deep joy, joy, awe and meaning of life… even just their own lives. I’ve felt this myself and I have no doubt my father did as well. It’s been said that many of us have grown up with a “father hunger” due to the not uncommon lack of exposure and nurturing by the positive masculine.
Since my Dad’s birthday and Father’s Day fall around the same time each year, I do my best to be aware of my feelings and where I am in my ongoing grieving process. What is most present for me lately is some sadness that my father is not around to witness and share in the joys of my accomplishments and adventures. I am the oldest of 3 brothers. Each of us has been impacted by our father’s life and death and the way he fathered or failed to father us. I think I can speak for each of us in feeling confused, disappointed, and hurt by the fact that our father had so many great qualities and talents which we admired but which, sadly, were undercut by his alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and various personality tendencies which left us feeling like we, essentially, had to raise ourselves.
While our relationship with our mother no matter how old we are is likely the most important, primal and fundamental relationship we’ll have, fairly recent research and personal anecdotes from both sons and daughters point to the importance of our relationships (or lack thereof) with our fathers. As with mothers, I can’t tell you how often in my counseling practice that clients’ “father issues” are at the very root of their addictions and relationship problems and, therefore, how important it is for us to acknowledge, understand, and do our best to heal old (or newer) wounds and to develop a healthier relationship with our fathers whether they are actively in our lives or not.
Some of the most common reasons both men and women have father issues include the following:
1. a father died early in a child’s life or committed suicide;
2. a father was addicted and/or mentally ill and was not able to be physically and/or emotionally present and attuned to his child;
3. a father was overtly/covertly seductive/sexual with his child;
4. a father appeared to favor one of his children over another;
5. a father needed rescue, help, or companionship and his child played the role of partner or parent;
6. a father held unrealistically high expectations of his child and the child became inauthentic to receive
mother’s love/approval;
7. a father was physically, emotionally, and/or verbally abusive toward his child;
8. a father had little natural or cultivated interest in being a father to his child;
9. a father betrayed his child’s confidence in some way;
10. a father was “perfect” and modeled this in a way his child felt unable to compete with;
11. a father was overly critical of his child;
12. a father was overly domineering or controlling;
13. a father committed infidelity in his marriage & her child knew;
14. a father encouraged his child to tell or keep secrets;
15. a father broke the law and/or modeled dishonesty; and
16. a father was physically and/or emotionally absent due to working all the time or for some other
reason(s).
The core effects of the situations described above often result in persistent feelings of neglect, abandonment, trust issues, low self-esteem/self-worth, codependency/caretaking others, as well as unresolved emptiness, depression, anxiety, and anger. Which of the above issues seems to resonate with you?
There may be many other ways to express the wounds or conflicts that develop around our relationship with our fathers then are listed above. Have you had any experiences with this? I recently read something about love that was powerful to me. It noted that it’s important to cover “the four A’s: Attention, Affection, Appreciation, and Acceptance.” Stop and think about this for a bit. How does this land with you? When you think about your relationship with your father, do/did you feel he was attentive? Was he affectionate with foibles, you in an appropriate, nurturing way wit hugs, kisses, or even a pat on the back? Was he appreciative of you, your feelings and your unique gifts, talents and efforts? And was he accepting of you with all your mistakes and so-called shortcomings? That’s real love, huh?
We all know that no parent is perfect and even those of us who are parents ourselves get to realized life’s cruel joke: we often become like our parents or at least learn to appreciate how hard it must have been to them to raise us! As we grow up (and, hopefully, we do) we learn to differentiate from our parents, need emotionally, financially, etc) and develop compassion for them (they did the best they knew how they likely were raised).
But this doesn’t mean it’s easy. We are taught to honor thy parents but that doesn’t mean we don’t speak our minds our share our hearts. Ideally, we often look to our parents to be a safe space to share our pain and our opinions (even if it hurts them). It doesn’t mean they don’t share their own pain and opinions back but, I believe, a primary role of a parent is to be strong and mature enough to absorb their child’s expressions, to model this even, and to be secure enough even in their imperfections to listen, try to understand, and try to see the gift in their child’s courageous, if imprecise, offering of their pain, their perspective.
This is the ideal and, of course, it’s painful when we don’t get this from parents. In this context, wouldn’t it be great if this Father’s Day instead of cards and ties, we could give the gift of honesty, our father could receive it lovingly, and we would return the favor?
JACK HAYES, Inc.’s 34th ANNUAL RETAIL THEFT SURVEY The May 2022 Results Are in!
by
Mark Doyle, President of Jack Hayes International, Inc.
Dollar Recoveries from Shoplifters and Dishonest Employees Increased an Amazing 30.7% in 2021!
Wesley Chapel, FL – Jack L. Hayes International, Inc. released today (May 26, 2022) the results of their 34th Annual Retail Theft Survey which reports on over 200,000 shoplifters and dishonest employee apprehensions in 2021 by just 25 large retailers, who recovered over $240 million from these thieves.
Jack L. Hayes International, Inc. has been in the Loss Prevention/Shrinkage Control consulting business for over 40 years, and is recognized on an international level as the foremost loss prevention and inventory shrinkage control consulting firm in the world.
“When it comes to shoplifting, the survey showed many retailers moved away from apprehensions in 2021 and focused more on recoveries. Our survey revealed shoplifting apprehensions were down 16.2% in 2021, while overall shoplifting recoveries (from apprehended and non-apprehended thieves) were up a staggering 30.8%,” said Mark R. Doyle, President of Jack L. Hayes International Inc.
Mr. Doyle added, “Survey respondents noted the pandemic environment, staff safety, lower police response and higher risks as some of the reasons for less shoplifter apprehensions. Mr. Doyle also stated, “There was an increase in 2021 in both dishonest employee apprehensions and recovery dollars, 6.0% and 29.8% respectively. Survey respondents noted additional focus, enhanced investigation methods/tools and less associate supervision as some of the reasons for the increase in apprehensions and recovery dollars of dishonest employees.
Highlights from this highly anticipated annual theft survey include:
• Participants: 25 large retail companies with 22,751 stores and over $650 billion in retail sales in 2021. • Apprehensions: Participants apprehended 204,404 shoplifters and dishonest employees in 2021, down 12.8% from 2020.
• Recovery Dollars: Participants recovered over $240 million from apprehended shoplifters and dishonest employees in 2021, up 9.9%.
• Shoplifters: 166.745 shoplifters were apprehended in 2021, down 16.2%: and over $196 million was recovered from these shoplifters, up 6.1%.
• Dishonest Employees: 37,659 employees were apprehended in 2021, up 6.0%; and over $44 million was recovered from these employees in 2021, up 29.9%.
• Case Averages:
• Total Thefts: $1,180.39, up 26.0% in 2021
• Shoplifters: $1,178.57, up 26.6% in 2021
• Employees: $1,188.46, up 22.6% in 2021
SURVEY PARTICIPANTS
• 25 Large Retail Companies (Dept Stores, Mass Merchant/Big Box, Specialty Apparel, Supermarket/Grocery)
• 22,751 Stores (representing an excellent cross-section of the United States)
• $656,770,024,164 in Annual Retail Sales (2021)
EMPLOYEE THEFT
Employee theft is perceived by some to be the most severe problem facing industry today! Many people often think of theft and abuse in companies as being isolated acts, which in themselves cost an organization little. Unfortunately, this is untrue! It is also not true that most employees are caught stealing inexpensive items such as ‘pens, pencils, and paper-clips’ from their employers. Over the years, Hayes International has witnessed a steady and significant rise in this serious problem. Each year thousands of employees are caught stealing from their employers and co-workers. Furthermore, our studies reflect that this group of thieves are being caught stealing far more than a few insignificant supplies. Below are a few highlights of our most recent survey:
• Apprehensions: Survey participants apprehended 37,659 dishonest employees in 2021, up 6.0% from 2020.
• Recoveries: Dollars recovered from dishonest employee apprehensions totaled over $44 million in 2021, up a substantial 29.8% from 2020.
• Case Value: The average dishonest employee case value in 2021 was $1,188.46, an increase of 22.6% from 2020.
JOB APPLICANT ADMISSIONS
To further evaluate the severity of employee theft, Hayes International analyzed over 19,000 randomly selected Applicant Review questionnaires (pre-employment ‘honesty tests’) given to retail job applicants nationwide.
Of these 19,165 job applicants, 12,283 (64.1%) were rated as “low risk” and 3,700 (19.3%) were rated as “high risk”, due to their admissions of previous wrongdoings, and their attitudes regarding honest and dishonest behavior. (Note: The remaining 3,182 applicants (16.6%) were rated as “moderate risk”.) When comparing the admissions of “high risk” and “low risk” job applicants, it becomes most obvious why some applicants are considered a hiring risk and others are not. For example, listed below are various items on the Applicant Review questionnaire and the percent of high and low risk applicants admitting to each.
High Risk Low Risk. I have frequently associated with fellow employees who admitted they were stealing merchandise from the company. 18.4%5.4%→ I am not an honest person and might steal or cheat.9.3% 1.7%→ I could be tempted to steal from my employer.26.7%7.8%→ I might help friends steal from my company. 14.6% 1.3%→ I have stolen money within the past 3 years. 17.5%5.2%→ I have stolen merchandise within the past 3 years. 15.9%4.5% I would possibly use marijuana/illegal drugs in the future.23.1%6.5%→ I have previously sold marijuana or other illegal drugs.4.3%0.9%
Previous theft admissions for the group of 3,700 “high risk” job applicants totaled $256,050, or $69.20 per applicant, while the admissions for the group of 12,283 “low risk” job applicants totaled $71,930, or $5.86 per applicant. It is generally estimated the correct dollar amount for stolen money and merchandise is approximately 10 times the admitted amount. Therefore, based upon admissions made on The Applicant Review questionnaire, the average “high risk” job applicant was responsible for the theft of $692.03, compared to $58.56 for the average “low risk” job applicant.
SHOPLIFTING
For the past several years Loss Prevention professionals have rated shoplifting as their #1 shrink issue. Reasons cited for the increase in shoplifting include: Increased Organized Retail Crime (ORC) activity; Legislation raising Felony Threshold Levels; More “hit n run”/fleeing shoplifters; Less staff on sales floor creating more opportunities for shoplifters; and Thieves view shoplifting as a high reward, low-risk endeavor. Over the years, Hayes International has witnessed a steady and significant rise in shoplifting. Billions of dollars are stolen every year by shoplifters, negatively impacting retailers’ bottom-line profits, which results in higher prices to the consumer.
• Total retail losses are approximately $50.6 billion annually (based on University of Florida survey) •
Shoplifting is conservatively estimated to account for 30% University of Florida and Hayes International surveys) 40% of total retail shrink/losses. (Both
Average shoplifting case for all types of retail is approximately $50.00 (Based upon data taken from various surveys)
•
Therefore, Hayes International estimates the following number of theft incidents and dollars lost to shoplifters:
Annually $15-$20 Billion
300-400 Million shoplifting incidents.
SHOPLIFTING APPREHENSIONS SURVEY
Hayes International’s 34th Annual Retail Theft Survey reports on over 166,000 shoplifting apprehensions taking place in just 25 large retail companies representing 22,751 stores with combined 2021 annual sales in excess of $650 billion. Some shoplifter-related highlights from this survey are:
• Apprehensions: Survey participants apprehended 166,745 shoplifters in 2021, a decrease of 16.2% from the prior year.
• Recoveries: Dollars recovered from shoplifting apprehensions totaled over $196 million in 2021, up 6.1% from 2020.
• Recoveries (no apprehension): Dollars recovered from shoplifters where no apprehension was made (over $339 million) increased an amazing 51.1% in 2021.
• Case Value: The average shoplifting case value in 2021 was $1,178.57, reflecting an increase of 26.6% from 2020.
For More Information, see: https://hayesinternational.com/news/annual-retail-theft-survey/
Preventing The Downward Spiral Of Depression During These Difficult Times by Dr. Mara Karpel (May 2022)
“There is peace even in the storm.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh
Most recently, I’ve been waking up in a state of anxiety about the world. This became a daily reality when the pandemic first hit a little over two years ago, and my hometown of New York City, two thousand miles away, quickly became the epicenter, with friends losing loved ones and my mom losing thirteen of her neighbors. With the availability of the vaccine and a reduction in COVID cases, it seemed that we were seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And then things got worse-higher COVID infections, increased violence in the US, the growing division between neighbors and friends and, then, the invasion of Ukraine.
And yet, I notice that myself and those around me are still able to experience moments of joy when good things happen, as well as continue to enjoy a sense of humor. This is a sign that we are not clinically depressed. But, there is a dark and heavy cloud that returns for many of us between those moments of happiness. This puts us at risk of spiraling down into the abyss of very real depression. And, for some, this has already happened.
Here are some statistical facts about depression in 2022:
• Millions of adults will experience depression at some point 50% of depressed adults also have Anxiety.
• The World Health Organization says depression and anxiety have increased by 25% worldwide due to the pandemic.
• Preliminary findings show an increase of depression since the Russian invasion of Ukraine.
COVID has caused two years of increased social isolation-and has impacted all adults, but has been particularly impactful on older adults’ mental health, especially since older adults have experienced the most isolation of any other group throughout the pandemic. In addition, many have had to deal with multiple losses, including loss of loved ones, economic loss, or loss of the ability to follow our passion and do what we enjoy. Many of us have experienced the loss of friends and colleagues due to divisions within our country based on very divisive politics and beliefs about COVID and vaccines. The existential fear, as well as compassion for the pain of those caught in war zones, has significantly added to the increase of stress and even trauma.
Stopping the downward Inner There are several strategies Spiral
that I’ve discovered to be helpful for myself in order to shake that feeling of a dark cloud over my head whenever it pops up, as well as to give myself the energy and enthusiasm to do whatever I can to bring more peace into the world and to help others who are suffering.
Author of The Power of the Pause Terry Hershey, wrote in a recent blog what I feel has been the most powerful piece of advice during this time of chaos and instability. In it, he reminds us to refocus our attention from the “bigger” world to the “smaller” world in order to create inner peace and to be more effective in creating peace in the world: “When we see only the ‘bigger world’ we tend to focus only (and see only) the muddled and topsy-turvy and crazy and chaotic and hopeless, first and foremost… seeing and engaging with the world right in front of me-doesn’t deny pain or cruelty or injustice. What it does do, is to remind me that there is a world (right infront of me) where I can bring myself, to choose, and to give, and to try, and to care, regardless of the outcome….And when I stop… in order to see the world right in front of me, I realize that it doesn’t matter what I expect from life, but what life expects from me.”
I frequently repeat his words to myself in order to avoid feeling utterly powerless and full of despair. By bringing ourselves back to the present and the world right in front of us, we can make a difference in our own families and our communities. Then, from there, we can go out into the wider world, making a difference from our little corner through volunteering for our communities or sending medical aid to places in need, such as Ukraine, donating to organizations helping that are helping those in need near or far, far, and political involvement to make our voices heard. It is what life is asking of us, right now to “be peace,” as Vietnamese Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh tells us, and to bring peace and assistance to those in greater need than ourselves. We may not feel that we, as one person, can have a great effect, but through small acts of kindness, peacefulness and kindness ripples out into the world. This is a powerful way of creating a more peaceful world. By noticing our distress, we can be motivated, but by wallowing in our despair, we lose our power to help anyone, including ourselves.
Creating Peace within Ourselves
- Elicit the relaxation response
It’s important to practice relaxation regularly in order to cope with stress, prevent discouragement and depression, and have the energy and clarity of thought to move forward with creativity and enthusiasm. When we practice stillness, we reduce the stress hormones: cortisol, norepinephrine, and adrenaline. A reduction of these chemicals puts our body into the relaxation response and thereby completely interrupts the stress response. Here are some ways to practice stillness:
• Take breaks throughout your day to three slow breaths, inhaling to the count of five and exhaling slowly to the count of six.
• Silently repeat a mantra while taking slow breaths.
• Thich Nhat Hanh recommended this mantra:Breathing in: “Peace in oneself.” Breathing out: “Peace in the world.”
• Use a guided meditation. There are many online meditations. Here’s a free one from my website: Guided meditation for Inner Peace, Joy, and Vitality.
• Listen to relaxing music.
• Practice mindfulness meditation. Try this:
Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. There’s nothing to change, nothing to control. Just notice the feeling of your breath as it comes in and as it goes back out. Your mind will want to jump to other thoughts. Simply notice your thoughts and label them, such as, “Oh, that’s a thought about work Ob there’s thought about what I’m going to cook for dipper” Whatever thought comes to mind label it and tell yourself that you’ll have plenty of time to think about that later. Then bring your attention back to your breath. This will happen over and over, but just keep bringing yourself back to your breath. Try it for five minutes and build up to twenty minutes.
- Practice an attitude of gratitude
Having an attitude of gratitude has been found to increase optimism, motivation to make positive changes, and inner peace and calm by reducing stress and physical pain. Researcher Dr. Robert Emmons at the University of California-Davis showed in his extensive research about the effects of gratitude on our emotional and physical wellbeing that people who make a practice of feeling gratitude feel physically healthier and have a more optimistic perspective. However, in this world consisting of the constant message, “You are not enough,” it’s easy to forget that we are enough and that we have so much power together, we can spark a light that’s so bright that every dark corner would be lit.
Because of this, Emmons found that the feeling of gratitude is something that needs to be cultivated daily through conscious effort. Making this a daily practice increases our gratitude and, thereby, improves our mood. It gets us to focus on the fact that, while there’s stress in our lives and the world, there are also many things that make life worth living.
• Try this: Write a daily list of five things, large or small, that you feel grateful for right now.
- Be creative
When I worked in a nursing home in the Bronx, I had a client who was very depressed. Even with medication, the depression lingered. One day, I invited her to meet me at a weekly art class in the building.
She resisted at first, stating “I can’t even draw a straight line.” “I bet you won’t need to draw a straight line for this class,” I countered.
She finally agreed to meet me there and discovered, over the course of that first class, that, not only did she love to paint, but she was actually very good at it. She continued attending the weekly classes, and she announced within a few weeks that her artwork was going to be shown in an art gallery exhibit. She also no longer needed my therapy services, as her depression lifted completely. You don’t have to be an artist. You don’t have to be any good at anything creative to benefit from doing it. Just do it. Try several different ways to be creative and see what you enjoy the most. Here are some things to try:
• Draw.
• Paint.
• Play with clay.
• Sing.
• Dance.
• Play a musical instrument.
• Write a poem.
• Write your story.
• Cook a gourmet meal.
The list of creative adventures is endless.
4. Move your body!
Our bodies are meant to be moved and doing so reduces stress and pain and elevates our mood and our problem-solving abilities. There are many safe ways to exercise (but, of course, first check with your medical practitioner if you’ve been sedentary and are about to start a new exercise program). Here are some ways to get your move on:
• Walk.
• Do Tai-Chi.
• Take a yoga class.
• Take a water aerobics class.
• Do chair exercises.
• Take a dance class.
5. Commune with nature
This is one of the most powerful ways of shifting our mood and giving us a different perspective.
Here are some ways to commune with nature:
- Talk a walk in a park or near a lake, river, or ocean.
- Plant a garden or some indoor plants.
- Stroke of talk to a pet.
- Even looking out of the window at nature or looking at a photo of nature has a calming and mood elevating effect.
6. Connect with others
I spoke a bit earlier in this blog about the negative effect of social isolation that has taken its toll, especially over the past two years. Since isolation leads to increased stress and a decline in mood, one way to remedy anxiety and depression is by connecting with like-minded and positive people. Social connection has the powerful effect of improving our mood and our cognitive sharpness. Here are some ways to connect:
• Join a community center, a group, or a club. Covid has gifted us with the ability to connect with groups near and far, virtually.
• Take a class.
• Exercise with other people.
• Join a dance class.
• Call a friend or relative just to talk.
• Reminisce with other people.
7. Laugh daily
I’m certainly grateful for comedians and laughter during this stressful time. I make it a point to listen, watch, or read something funny every day. It helps me to bring brightness into my own life so that I can be better at helping others. Humor immediately produces feelings of joy, hope, confidence, inner peace, and social connection. At the same time, it reduces stress and helps us to attain an optimistic perspective of our own life.
- Look for the humor in stressful situations. Often the most effective humor is that which finds a way to laugh at stressful situations, themselves, or by laughing at ourselves when we’re stressed. This decreases the intensity of the situation.
- Watch a funny movie.
- Listen to or watch a comedian on a podcast.
- Read a funny story.
- Share a joke with someone.
8. Become a “Glass Half Full” Person
Practice substituting positive thoughts for negative ones or finding ways to reframe situations.
I recently had a discussion with my ninety-three-year-old mom about how to be “glass half full” about the war in Ukraine. We ended up talking about the amazing resilience of the Ukrainian people, all of the outpouring of love and support for Ukraine-musicians creating and recording music for Ukraine to raise money and spirits, and the humor of the Ukrainian soldiers in the midst of this fight, and the dogs helping to sniff out bombs. Focusing on these positive aspects helped us to feel inspired. I began to feel more empowered to find ways that I could be of service to the Ukrainian people, in my own communities, and in my own life. By feeling moved by the resilience of a people, it can help us to connect to our own resilience.
Bringing light into the world – acts of kindness never go unrewarded.
Often, the quickest, most effective way out of depression is by helping someone else, opening our hearts with compassion, and by being generous in our actions. Dr, Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, learned from his experience as a prisoner of two concentration camps during the Holocaust than those people who were the most resilient in this intensely horrific situation were those who found meaning by helping their fellow prisoners, giving of themselves, even if all they had to offer was a crumb.
The one common denominator that I have found in working with older adults, young adults, veterans, and people from all walks of life, is that we crave a sense of purpose, even at age 99. Once we feel a sense of purpose and meaning, the depression dissipates. Generosity and compassion help us to have that meaning and purpose. And a researcher at the University of California, Dr. Sonya Lyubomorsky found that generosity of spirit can be more effective than taking an antidepressant for increasing our feeling of well- being, eliciting a more positive mood, and increasing our feeling of self-worth, as well as improving our ability to learn, our memory, our sleep, and our health. The benefits to our own health, as well as to the health of our society, by acting out of generosity and giving of ourselves and our time are immeasurable.
In fact, generosity is so beneficial that it even helps those who are simply observing acts of kindness! Participants of a study in which they viewed videos of Mother Teresa helping people had an increase of Immunoglobin-A, our natural immune-boosting cells. This is called the Mother Teresa effect.
- One question to ask ourselves every day that can help us to focus on helping others rather than getting stuck in our feelings of disappointment fear and lack: “What can I do to bring more light into the world?”
- Be compassionate by making a financial donation to a worthy cause.
- Volunteer at annursing home, a homeless shelter, and a soup kitchen. Join san organization that creates care packages of food, clothing, or medical supplies to send to people lothing, in need in other parts of the world. There are so many opportunities and ways to volunteer, and so many who will benefit from your help.
- Do a good deed for a neighbor.
- Make someone who is feeling blue laugh.
- Lend your ear or a shoulder to someone in need. Pick up the phone and check on a friend, neighbor, or family member whom you haven’t heard from in a while and who might be struggling.
- Make it a point to practice one random act of kindness every day. It can be as small as a smile or a kind word, or it can be an action, like helping someone carry a heavy load.
- Share your art. You never know what your artwork, your music, or your writing may heal or inspire in another.
We are certainly living in uncertain and difficult times. But, even when things appear bleak, we can be a light in the darkness by fostering our own inner peace and by being peaceful in the world through compassion and generosity. It’s easy to get lost in the feeling that we can’t make a difference, but the ripple effect of our peace and our kindness is real. And, as it’s said, it only takes one candle to light the darkness.
HAVE A SAFE MONTH & NEW YEAR, AND REMEMBER: LIFE IS WHAT WE MAKE OF IT!